Library Time....

I am a loyal patron of our local library.  I love it there.  Many of the librarians know me by my name.  I like that.  I usually go the library a couple of times a week.  I read a lot - read to myself kind of reading.  Plus, I read a lot to the kids - we have about a 10-20 book a week habit (as I like to call it).  When I stayed at home with the kids, we attended story time.  It was there that I learned the words and dance to Tooty Ta.  I borrow books, CD's, movies....... I am a library addict. I am sure you get the point. 

Because I am at the library so often I frequently run into people who I know at the library.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I went there without seeing someone I knew.  I like that, too.  Last week I posted on Facebook about how I saw an old friend there but I didn't talk to her.  I hid from her.  Behind a stack of CD's.  And then behind a computer monitor.  I know - there must be something wrong with me. 

Tonight I had to go to the grocery store, so I decided I should return my current batch of stuff to the library.  When I got there I remembered I had made a "reading list" of kids books I wanted to check out for the kids.  Again, I do realize this isn't normal but I've never claimed to be "normal".  I forgot my list but remembered there was a list of the librarians favorite children's books on the library web site.  So.....I went to the computer to search for the list. (I know this is long and detailed but I am getting to a point - so stay with me).  As I am standing at my computer waiting for my info I saw this guy - well, young man (he looked around 18) walking to the computer across from me. He had a few piercings, skinny jeans and converse type shoes.  He walked like it was taking every ounce of energy he could muster to just walk.  He sat down.  I couldn't help but look at him.  He looked so distraught.  I could feel his burden - if that even makes sense.  After a minute I saw this woman walking straight for him.  She may have been his mother.  Or maybe the mother to one of his friends. She said something to him - maybe his name.  He turned and he hugged her.  Now this is where we are going to pause.  If you don't know this about me - I am not a hugger.  I've always thought it was because I just don't like being that physically close to other people.  I don't want my boobs squishing up against other people and I just really don't like hugging.  I get teased about it.  But here is the thing.  I think most hugging is just unnecessary.  It is fake....."oh let me give you a hug".  I mean really does a quick squish and back pat really mean anything?  It is kinda like when you ask someone how they are and then you don't listen to the answer.  The truth is I don't mind hugging when it is needed - when a friend is hurt or crying or even when a client is very upset.  From now on I want everyone to take note - I don't hate hugging - just foo-foo hugging.  So, I watched this odd pair embrace (yes, we are back in the library).  It was not a superficial hug.  He grabbed on to her like he needed someone - anyone even - the give him that physical embrace.  I watched.  I couldn't stop.  He was gripping at her coat.  It was so intense that I felt tears welling up in my eyes.  I heard her say she tried to call him and that was it. I forced myself to walk away.  I did see him when I was leaving the library.  They were ahead of me in line.  I was waiting as the woman disputed some late fee.  He looked stressed.  I wanted to hug him.  Or cry for him.  I asked him is she needed money for the fine.  He said no.  Okay.  He probably thought I was some crazy lady - talking to him. I saw him smoking in the parking lot as I pulled away.  I just wonder what he is going through.  I wonder if he is okay.  It is just strange how you can witness something and just know.  Sometimes I wish we could know what is going on in other peoples lives - so we could help each other.  Other times I think it is best we don't.  I probably wouldn't sleep much at night.


And that was my trip to the library today.

Writers Block.....

I keep getting comments about how I don't blog that much anymore.  At first I denied it had anything to do with Facebook but it really does.  I can jump on Facebook and type a one liner that pretty much sums up what I am doing or what is going on and them I am done. Also, I get instant gratification because people leave comments.  I need validation.  I like comments.  People don't really comment on my blog.  On top of all that - I just have writers block.  I don't know what to write.  I do so much writing at work, maybe I use up all my words!?  Who knows.  I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say.  If I could write about work and all the crazy stuff that goes on there.....man - you just wouldn't believe it.  Every single day something UNBELIVABLE happens.  It is a good thing I have a sense of humor.  If all that wasn't enough (whine, whine, whine.....I know) - this weather is KILLING me.  I am so sick of the cold.  I don't mind the snow so much but it hasn't been over freezing in a month.  It is depressing. 

And life is busy as always.....Jake and I are both working.  Jake goes to school.  The kids go to school.  The dog....well, that is like having another kid.  We go to church.  We teach the youth group.  Cook.  Clean.  Homework.  Laundry.  Shovel. Groceries.  Wow.

I am still thinking about writing a book.  I know I just need to sit down and start.  Here are some ideas.  Tell me what you think.  And if you have any ideas blog posts tell me that too.... 

1.  A book about a newly married, first time mom who gets dumped by her BFF and her search for a replacement.  It will include quirky antics of being the outcast Mom for not caring about things like sending your kids to the best pre-preschool and tape on the walls.

2.  A story about the dating-capades of a twenty something woman - who doesn't quite have it all together.  It will include stories about falling down and farting on dates (or at a new year's eve party) and going on a blind date with a man she met by calling the wrong number.

3. Remember my series of blog posts called Ex-Men Monday/Tuesday.  This book could be a collection of short stories about guys I dated in the past.  I'd include more detail and change their names to something similar but not the same (ex. Ned instead of Ed, Anthony instead of Tony, Jerk Face instead of Mike - wait that might not work....). I'd call the book "You're so Vain, You Probably Think This Book Is About You".  Of course I would get permission from Carly Simon first.  I've probably put the most thought into this one but I don't know if I'd want my mother, father, pastor, children, youth group kids..... to read this.  I'd have to really add a bunch of stuff so no one would know what was real and what was made up!  LOL. 

4.  This one is a lot different than the others.  A book about a woman that is driving to work and sees another woman climb to the ledge of a bridge and jump to her death.  The story would be about how seeing that impacted her life and her search for answers about the dead woman's life & family.  Last week someone I know did see a woman jump from the Y Bridge in Akron while he was on his way to work.  His wife posted about it on Facebook and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.  Crazy.

That is all I have for now.

Hugs & Kisses

OMG....wait until you see the cutest Valentine's EVER!  I hope everyone feels loved today!!!

We got a little snow.

Aldi Experience....

I've mentioned before that I like to shop at Aldi.  I've found they have quality products and fantasticly low prices!  I love that I can fill the shopping cart for less than $100 with healthy food!  One thing about shopping there is you have to pay 25 cents to rent a shopping cart that you get back when you return it to the cart area.  If you haven't been there you are probably wondering how they "rent" the carts out.  They have a little chain system where the chain from one cart connects to the second cart and so on. In order to unhook a cart you have to insert a quarter.  To get the quarter back you have to reconnect it.  Hopefully that makes sense because I am going to tell you a story about me and the Aldi's shopping carts.  Once I went there and someone had left a cart in the parking lot.  That rarely happens since people want to get their quarter back and usually return it.  I thought what a nice thing to happen to me....  It was a good day because that same day I thought I would treat myself to a Starbucks coffee.  I went through the drive thru and it took a few minutes.  When I got to the window they handed me my coffee and told me it was on them!  So I was in a very good mood.  Free coffee and a quarter to boot.  Well, the next time I went to Aldi I went to get a cart, which was right by the other carts.  In fact, it was in the cart stall but the chain wasn't connected.  Again, I got a free cart & when I returned it, after my shopping, I got a quarter for returning it!  Wow.  Two times in a row.  Well, if that wasn't exciting enough - the next time I went there was a man returning his cart, he told me I could take it.  I tried to pay him my quarter and he told me to keep it.  Now this is just crazy.  Is everyone going to Aldi to pay it forward, or what????  So, a couple of weeks go by and I go back to Aldi.  I have to pay for my cart.  I really didn't expect to get another free cart.  After I was done shopping and loaded everything in my car, I saw this man getting out of the car next to mine.  He was an older Asian man.  I said, "Here you can have my cart."  I am thinking it is my turn to be the cart fairy.  He said something in broken English and I waved him on (in my mind I was saying no - no, don't worry about the quarter).  He shook his head and said (again in broken, yet pretty clear english) You are something else!  I smiled.  I was feeling pretty good.  Until I saw him take the cart and leave it in the cart return area!  He entered the store without the cart!  OMG.  That man thought I was telling him to take my cart back for me.  He didn't understand I thought I was doing a nice thing by giving him my cart and my quarter!  It all made sense...."you are something else".  Well, someone got a free cart at Aldi that evening but it wasn't the man I gave it to!  These kinds of things always seem to happen to me!!!

New Year....

Maybe I will make a resolution to write more posts on my blog....LOL.  If it goes anything like last years resolution (to avoid fast food joints)...well, don't expect that many posts. Ha!

I feel like I need to catch you up on all the craziness of the Miller clan.  It is always a real ride, I'll tell ya.  Jake started a job in November at Allstate - remember when I worked there?  His first 5 weeks were training.  It was nuts.  Life was just a rush.  It was quite an adjustment for me to get the kids ready for school and to deliver them to all the different places (Jude to his school, Elise to her school & Avery to the babysitters).  Then work. Then back to pick Elise & Avery up at one babysitters and then Jude at a different house.  Jake had classes in the evening.  Wow.  After the training, Jake's schedule changed and now he delivers and I pick up. He is done with school for a few more weeks.  And we've had a babysitter change.  Now we will have someone come to our home - which I am so excited about.  It will make life a little easier.  

Christmas came and went.  I love Christmas so much but it really was stressful this year.  I was worried about so many things....that all worked out in the end.  Plus it didn't help that I crammed WAY TOO MUCH into my schedule....parties, events, baking and baskets.   Jennifer, Heather and I baked about 75 dozen cookies that we passed out to friends, family, clients, etc...  The week before Christmas I sent an email to our Church members to donate items for baskets for my clients.  I wanted to make 4 baskets - I ended up with enough stuff to make 9!  I still have lightbulbs and paper items in my office!  It was awesome!  Christmas day was great.  The kids really enjoyed all their gifts.  My parents and my sisters family were all at our house.  My Mom made enough food for an Army.  It was fabulous.  Jake bought me an MP3 player.  I'll probably listen to Books more than anything, although I already have 3 GB of music on it. 

We had a little excitement over the break.  We discovered our transmission is going in the van and we need a new one.  Really?!  Now????  Paul (FIL) found a transmission for about $1000 less than the transmission place was charging so he and Jake devised a plan that ended with Tim, Steph and their children stranded on Rt. 77 for three hours, in our van!  Long story.....

Also, Willow - our dog, decided she likes chocolate chips - so much that she ate 3 lbs. of them.  She ate enough to kill her.  She threw up a lot.  Chocolate dog barf.  Think about that one for a minute.  Let's just say she wasn't the only one barfing in the Miller home that night. 

We went to the Looman's for New Years Eve.  Bill, Sherry, Jake and I were playing Mad Gab when we heard Avery slip and fall upstairs.  I ran up and found a river of water on the Looman's second floor.  The kids were filling up plastic bins with water and spilled a few on the floor.  Right around that time water started leaking through the floor to the first floor ceiling - right were we were sitting.  It looked like it was raining.  This was all after Avery and Isaiah had locked themselves in Isaiah's room and ate all of Tyler's candy.  Never. A. Dull. Moment. 

Never - Ever. 

We haven't had Christmas with the Miller's yet.  I know, we are such rebels.  We are going there in a couple of weeks to have our Christmas celebration.  I probably will still wait until the day before to do my wrapping.  LOL.  It is more fun that way - that is what I tell myself. 


I will try to blog more often.  I am out of the habit.  I will really, really try.

Video Christmas Card....

Well that was an experience....

So, I just got home from the midnight showing of New Moon.  It was CRAZY.  Let me tell you.  I took a teen girl from church (Jessica) with me.  She ordered the tickets on line a few weeks ago - good thing, since all the theaters in our area were sold out by this morning.  The particular theater we went to was in a close by "rich" town.  The movie was showing in 6 of their theaters!  They were all full of, you guessed it, mostly teen girls.  At midnight.  On a school night.  Did I say crazy?  We got there around 10:30ish and there was a huge line already.  I had expected that.  I did see a couple of mom type persons there but only a few.  They started letting people in the theater around 11:15 P.M.  We got in, found seats, went to the bathroom (we didn't want to miss any of the movie once it started): then the movie started.  Yahoo.  Let me begin by saying I am not a fan of the first Twilight movie.  It is my opinion that books are always better than the movie but that movie was just horrible due to a combination of over dramatic acting and horrible makeup.  They took gorgeous people and made them weird.  (Just my opinion).  If I hadn't watched this movie with a crowd of teen girls I probably would have been bored to tears or just annoyed.  But....it was great.  If you remember when I was all gaga over the books - Edward is the vampire.  I loved him.  I am so over it.  He annoys me.  He made me fickle with all his melodrama.  He apparently did not have that effect on the teens.  Hahahaha.  When he was first on the screen I heard drool hit the floor.  And the first time Jacob took off his shirt - there were gasps.  I may have been one of them.  Gross since he is a 17 year old.  Seriously.  Then there was the gigglies.  The girls were laughing at everything.  Edward kissed Bellla - giggle, giggle.  Edward and Bella running through the forest - giggle giggle.  Bella's dad says something corny - giggle, giggle.  I laughed a lot.  It was a good time. 

So, here is my official review....It has been a while since I read the book so I don't really remember how it all went down but I am so sure the movie skipped most of the good stuff.  If you watched the movie and read the books please tell me how New Moon left the Victoria story line in the book.  They just dropped it in the movie.  If you are not a big Twilight series fan I am pretty sure you will hate this movie because it is pretty bad.  The actors are not good.  The makeup is just freakish.  There isn't really any development of the story.  And the ending....It ended so abruptly.  Again, there were gasps and shrieks of horror by the crowd.  How could they????  Now we have to wait until June 30 to see what happens....  I'll be there.  I wonder if you can order tickets already?

This is the line to get in.  It is from my phone so it isn't that great - plus it was raining and dark.

This is the parking lot at 2:30 A.M., when we were leaving!

I wish I had the time....

Oh life is full of stuff right now.  Some day I will update you on many things...like how our van broke down, how Jake got a job, how the kids have a babysitter, about all of our crazy craziness.  But right now I am too busy.  In the mean time, check out the picture of Avery with her friend Angus!

What if....

...this is the way it is supposed to be.

I started my day today down at the AMHA building.  That stands for Akron Metropolitan Housing Authority.  They are the people who own the project based homes and give out the section 8 vouchers.  It is a crazy process to get into that housing.  You have to go down at the crack of dawn and get in line.  I took one of the women I work with and we got in line at 7:30 A.M.  We waited until 8.  That is when AMHA opens their doors.  As they let the people in they everyone a ticket that has a number on it.  My girl was #29.  They only give out 30 tickets per day.  That is just the beginning of the process.  I won't bore you with the rest of the details.  What I do want to tell you about is the people waiting in line.  They were from all walks of life.  I saw a college student reading a text book.  I saw a family with three beautiful little girls.  I saw all races and all ages.  I have mixed feelings about all of it.  While I was in line with the girl, another one of my girls called me.  I told her where I was and she thought I was trying to get housing for myself.  She laughed when I told her I was trying to move in next to her so I can borrow sugar and milk from her everyday (she always complains about her neighbors borrowing stuff from her lol).  It was a silly misunderstanding and I did explain to her that I was with a client.  BUT the entire time I was there I kept saying to myself....that could be my family. 

I hate to keep feeling sorry for myself.  I hate the emotional roller coaster.  I hate getting my hopes up and then being let down.  I just hate it.

I am reading this book about how to be happy.  I didn't pick it out myself.  It was sent to me by the author (well by her people) and they would like me to review it.  I am in the middle of another Bible study but I decided I would read a chapter of the new book to get a feel for it.  Well, so far what I have got out of it is we get sad when our reality doesn't meet our expectations.  Ha.  Many of our expectations come from what we feel we deserve.  Like I have said many times....we are good people, we are nice, generous, friendly, helpful, loyal, fill in the blank...  We go to church, pray, work with the youth, tythe.....  Why can't we get what we want (currently that is a job for my hubby).  I want him to get a job so we can maintain our lifestyle and possibly buy new stuff.  LOL.  It sounds ridiculous to even write that.  Don't we deserve certain things?  I am having a terrible time accepting we don't deserve anything and we are not owed anything.  So far, that book has not helped in the happiness department.  I guess I need to keep reading. 

It did stir up some emotion for me (more like sorrow).  I keep thinking God is going to bless us with a job for Jake.  I just know in my heart he is going to get a job any day now.  Even though he hasn't even had an interview for over a month.  The truth of it is....maybe this is God's plan.  Maybe this is how it is supposed to be. 

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire....

Yesterday while I was working I got a call from a friend.  I was with a client so I couldn't take it.  She left a message.  I rarely listen to messages until they are a week old.  I don't know why....bad habit, I guess.  So, while I am driving to my next destination I call her back.

Here is how the conversation went:
Me:  Hi!
Her:  Thank God you called.  I told a lie and it is eating me alive.
Me: Oookaaay. (wondering what could she have lied about, did she lie to her husband? Her Mom?)
Her:  I lied to my boss.  He called me about a big meeting today and I told him I couldn't be there because my Grandma died!
Me:  Outburst of Laughter...You what!? Why would you do that?
Her: I don't know.  I think something is wrong with me.
Me:  Laughter again....Well....
Her:  Seriously, I lied to my boss.  It just slipped off my tongue and I just know I am going to get caught.  I think I should call him and tell him I lied.
Me:  You can't tell him you lied about that.  If you must tell him the truth is you had severe digestive problems and were too embarrassed to tell him and the grandma thing just slipped out. (thinking....that still sounds bad.)
Her:  Laughter.  That would be more lying.
Me: Oh yeah.
Her:  This is eating me alive.  I already called and scheduled to feed the homeless for an entire day because I feel so bad about this.
Me: Laughter.  That should be good for you. (thinking of the scene from Desperate Housewives when Gabby goes to the homeless shelter to see an old friend).
She:  I told my husband and he thinks I am crazy.  He yelled at me.
Me:  So, why did you need the day off.
Her:  I need a day to get organized and get control of my life.
Me:  Don't you get personal days.
Her: Yes.
Me:  What are you going to do if you Grandma dies next week?
Her:  I don't know.  Do I need to see a Therapist?
Me:  Well, I think everyone lies sometimes.  The difference is you feel guilty about it an many people don't.  Some people even begin to believe their lies. (....if she starts shopping for black dresses tell her to seek help).
Her:  What would you do if you lied to your boss.
Me:  I don't know.  I've never lied to my boss.
Her:  Thanks.  That just cut like a knife.  I really am a bad person.
Me:  No, I just have a VERY extremely flexible job and I don't have to lie when I need a day off...even if it was to stay and home and watch TV.
Her:  Have you ever lied?
Me:  Of course....then I had to think of a time I lied and confess it to her to help make her feel better.
Her:  You should blog about this.  Find out if other people lie and what they lie about.

So, what do you think?  She is not a bad person. That is why I laughed when she told me.  It was a bit surprising.  And she is under a lot of stress.  She needs to learn to say no.  I've had to figure out what is important and learn to say No.  I can't do everything.  I turns me into something ugly.

Leave me a comment and tell me about the worst lie you ever told.  Or a lie you told your boss.  You can leave it as an anonymous comment if you want.  And what do you think my friend should do.  She does not have the kind of job you can just leave and go to the next place. She is pretty well known in her field.  She is afraid this could ruin her reputation if it gets out.  Does she have to confess to her boss?

Avery & Willow....

This morning Willow was scratching on the kids doors and whining.  She woke them up.  After a little running around the dog was "dog tired".  She tried to go back to sleep on the couch.  Avery was not allowing that to happen.  LOL.

My Blue Period....

The famous artist Picasso had a few years where he painted everything in monochromatic colors (blue).  It is said that he friend commit suicide and that is what set off the blue period and many have thought it was a time of depression for Picasso.  They call it The Blue Period.

I think someday I will look back and think this is my blue period.  It isn't that I am particularly depressed.  This is just a very stressful time.  Jake has been out of work for a year and a half. We are quickly approaching the end of his unemployment and nothing looks that promising.  It is scary.  I think I've been fairly positive throughtout this entire process.  It has helped that I found my job right away and that I really enjoy what I do.  And I have enjoyed having Jake around more.  I love that while I am at work he is with the kids and they aren't with "an outside" person.  I hate what loosing his job has done to his self-esteem.  It is difficult to loose a job and even more difficult to not have another one after such a long time.  He is going to school.  That has been good for him.  But the schedule is grueling.  I get home and he leaves.  I really really dislike that part.  I also hate having limited money. We've talked about that before....

I know that God has a plan.  That doesn't mean I am going to like it.  I've also mentioned that a time or two.  I will admit at times I feel downright angry about it.  Then I feel guilty about feeling angry. 

This is my Blue Period. 

I work with people every day that honestly are only to be described as destitute.  It should put things in perspective for me.  I know I am blessed.  It doesn't take the worry away. 

We are starting to think outside the box as far as jobs.  It is a distinct possibility we will have to move.  It is almost devistating for me.  I cry when I think about it. 

This month has been so hard.  Not only are we stressed about the impending loss of income but my digital camera died.  I've been wanting a new one for a long time but NOW IS NOT THE TIME.  Then on Sunday our desktop died.  With pictures.  Pictures we haven't backed up for months.  Oh....and pictures we had backup to another hard drive that also crashed.  Oh and there were other important things on there like financial stuff and resumes.....  It is sickening.  I don't dare ask 'what else could go wrong'.  I am wiser than that. 

So, if you are the praying type....keep us in your prayers.  If you hear about any jobs...let us know.  I will keep you updated.

Sunday Morning Pictures....

Life is insane these days....Sorry I can't keep up.  Here are some pics from this morning!

Here is Elise's new hair style.....

Shockingly short, I know.  It was the best the pro's could do!

I haven't talked much about the dog lately.  She is getting big - gaining about 2 lbs a week!  We finally named her Willow.  She is a good dog. 

This morning Jake was reading to Elise & Willow.

 

I was making treats for church today...

 

Avery was eating the treats....

 

 

Then I really spoiled the kids with hot chocolate...

We are having a church picnic today & then I think we are going to relax.  Do we remember how to do that? 

Elise got a haircut.....

There just aren't words for this.....

Avery got a haircut...

Today Elise decided Avery needed a haircut.  If you look closely the left side is significantly shorter than the right side.  Oh, and check out the bang job.  Yikes.  Why oh why Elise????  I fixed what I could and it does look cute but I am so sad about the curls....

Christmas Shopping....

How would you feel if I bought you a gift from a thrift store?  Seriously?  Before you answer: Jake and I are contemplating buying all our Christmas gifts at the thrift stores this year...for many reasons.  #1. Financially it just makes sense.  #2.  It is good old fashion recycling.  #3.  I think it is fun....a game of sorts.  We might not be able to get everything thrifting but I am pretty sure we will do very well.  I already bought 2 sets of brand new looking board books for Avery & the cutest little Barbie dollhouse for Elise ($1.99 at The Salvation Army). It is in perfect condition but it is missing the accessories. I just looked it up on Amazon and new the item costs almost $140 - I am so excited! Today I stopped by Goodwill and found a fabulous gift for someone on my list (it may be you.....).  It is actually something I was thinking about getting the person already but much MUCH better than I would have been able to afford from a new retailer.  I am thrilled.  I think by starting early I will be able to do this! 

So...would you think less of the gift or the giver if you knew a gift was second-hand or inexpensive? 

Has this ever happened to you???

Today someone hijacked my blog and posted!  If you saw the post titled Travelers....well it wasn't from me.  It just had a link to it but I am highly annoyed.  I changed my password. Hope this doesn't happen again!

House for Sale.....

You should buy this house.