What if Trent Reznor became a Christian????

"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real"

Do you know him? Trent is the lead singer of one of the most popular industial bands , Nine Inch Nails. He is originally from Cleveland and everyone in Northeast Ohio knows someone who knows Trent. I knew Michael, who dated my friend Stephanie. He was a member of the Exotic Birds, Trent's first band. My old friend Jenifer Bass loved NIN. She introduced me to the music. It was music that wouldn't be making it to the radio anytime soon. My pal, Audrey, from High School, has a huge NIN tattooed on her leg and she named her first born child, Trent. One of the first times I talked to Melanie she had just moved to Ohio from Florida. We were straightening the party isle at Toys R Us. She told me she was going to see NIN by herself because she didn't know anyone else to go with. I told her a ton of other people were going and I introduced her to them. That was when she became one of the gang. Tori Amos dated Trent. Everyone knows I love Tori. She wrote about him in a song. Courtney Love also dated Trent. I went to her concert and she kept talking about the size of Trent's "manhood". It was so stupid but Courtney thought she was so cool.

"What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt"

Okay, There is the "HISTORY". Here is what brought it all up again. A couple of months ago I was standing in the Kitchen and Melanie calls. She had just won tickets on the radio. They were to see Nine Inch Nails! She asked me to go with her. To be honest, I wasn't sure at first. I had A LOT of stuff going on and concerts...well, they are part of my past. I used to love going to concerts. I went almost weekly. I've seen so many bands live. Everything from Chicago to NOFX. I worked at Blossom for 5 summers with my friend Tiffany. We served coffee and HUGE cookies. Man it was fun. I've danced on stage with The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and yes, I have stage dived and been in MANY mosh pits. Either way, I digress... I used to love Nine Inch Nails. When I got married and had the respite kids coming to live with us I really censored my CD collection. I gave away or sold most of my old stuff. Besides, most of it I can hear on the computer if I want to. After settling in to my new job and moving I agreed to go to the concert with Melanie. Yes, I went to see Trent, eleven years after the last time. It was so much different this time around. First of all....I didn't dress in the normal garb. Yes, I was slightly concerned about what to wear but when it came right down to it - I really didn't care. I don't care to look like everyone else. I just went as me. Denim shorts and a black shirt with my favorite, stinky sandals. As we walked through I stared at all the people. I really felt like I was amongst a bunch of people who just hadn't arrived yet. They were mostly close to my age. I didn't really talk to any of them so I can't be quite certain but I felt like they just never grew out of that ANGST RIDDEN stage of life. I have always been about the meaning of the music. I've analysed lyrics and have even asked a few song writers what they meant by certain songs. I had forgotten about the serious religious overtones of NIN.

"God money i'll do anything for you. God money just tell me what you want me to. God money nail me up against the wall. God money don't want everything he wants it all."

The music is religous. Just not my religion. Trent sings about being hurt and strong at the same time. He gives hope to his followers. I watched people dancing and praising him. I thought (ironically) "this is what worship should be like". Unfortunately...well people are worshipping Trent Reznor. What is he going to do for them? Hmmmm.

"no you can't take it no you can't take it no you can't take that away from me"

So, I started thinking about it all. And I wondered...what would Trent Reznor do if he accepted Christ and became a Christian? Would he stop singing? Would he stop singing those songs? Would he apologize? Would his followers hate him? Or would they love him? Would it be a great testimony or would he be a traitor?

"head like a hole. black as your soul. i'd rather die than give you control."

I think he was writing about drugs??? Not sure. Definitely some religious stuff tucked away in there.

"bow down before the one you serve. you're going to get what you deserve. God money's not looking for the cure. God money's not concerned with the sick amongst the pure. God money let's go dancing on the backs of the bruised. God money's not one to choose"

I did have a great time. I love the loud music and the energy. I love seeing everyone dance around, united by a common thread (even if it is a pretty small one). But I felt different this time around....A little out of place. The best part was just getting to hang out with Melanie and laugh. Thanks Melanie.

Updates and Random Info...

I have 5 minutes. I will see how much I can tell you....

• We are moving to Cuyahoga Falls in less than 2 weeks. I would have been giving you a box count but....I haven't packed one thing yet. Jake has packed a few boxes though. The house we are moving to is PINK! I don't even care. It is very nice and has more space. They even mow their lawn.
• I saw Cody (the little boy I used to take care of...see previous posts). It appears I will be having contact with him again. More on that later....
• Work is going well. I made my first sale on Friday.
• Jude went to West Virginia with The Millers until Wednesday. He called me last night to say he wanted to come home to give me a hug. AWWWWWWW.
• Jarhead (yes the one I wrote about before) sent me an email this week-end.
• I had a good, fun filled week-end.... The Millers visited on friday. Went to a wedding on Saturday (girls night out w. Mandy & Sherry). Someone called us the Charlies Angels. I think they were drunk. Sunday we went to church, watched Jake play softball, went grocery shopping and went to the farm and picked peas (yummy). I didn't get to bed until almost 1 AM because I was cutting out fish (why do we need so many?????)
• I am working at VBS this week, working my job and packing. I will try to keep you updated.

Have a great day.

I did not abandon.....

I've been accused of being a blog abandoner... I can't even begin to explain how busy I have been. Is it ever going to slow down? I used to say when we were done doing Respite we would have all this free time. Then I had to work part-time, crazy hours, long drives....Well, it wasn't any less hectic. I kept saying when the school year is over and summer is here, I will have more time. Now I am working full-time and I can't seem to catch up. Some day..... So, as soon as I get in the swing of things and get a few things caught up I will blog again. Until then you'll just have to wait patiently. (please)

I did start the new job today. It was an easy day. No biggie.

This evening we went driving around and I think we found a new house to rent. We have half heartedly decided we should wait until next year to buy a house. At least I want to wait so we can afford the house we really want....not just the house we can afford right now, which wouldn't be much of a house. Jake isn't completely sold on the idea but either way, we found a really nice house in Cuyahoga Falls to rent. We filled out an application. It was really a cute place with more space and a much better drive way. It is on a quiet street and very close to a park. The yard is only about one tenth of what we have now, but it doesn't matter because we can't use the yard we have since the landlord never mows it. Last week the weeds were up to Elise's chin. How embarrassing. We would have to cut our lease a little short but I don't fear any legal recourse since she hasn't fixed the sidewalk or our floor yet and the grass thing. I will keep you updated on the house. Oh, one more note about the house...it has never been rented out before, so it is so nice. A family of four just bought a house around the corner and just moved a few months ago. Small closets though....

Have a good day. Talk to you soon, I hope.