Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Okay, I changed my mind...I have a few comments about this stuff.
The Environmental stuff (alternative resources).....Love it. Can't wait for it to happen, if it ever does. I will have a french fry oil car one day.
No Child Left Behind....it is crap. Math and Science is good if the kids can read. I have classes THIS WEEK where over HALF the kids can not read! They are in middle school!
Drug use is down???? I don't believe it. I see it every day. Has he ever been in a real school and talked to real kids? The kids I talk to don't even think Marijuana is a drug! That is probably why the drug use is down....kids say they have never tried them because Pot don't count! Or maybe they couldn't read the test and just filled in a circle. Or maybe they don't give those tests to the kids that can't read, sit still, behave long enough to take a test. Just theories...
The pregnancy rate is down because of the shot that many teen girls get as soon as they start their periods. I see it all the time. He didn't mention that STD's are more rampant than ever.
I know it sounds so bitter and negative but I think politicains are out of touch. That is just my opinion.
On a lighter note...Hillary looked great and that lady in the front row with the hot pink dress should have dressed in some other color!
Monday, January 30, 2006
I have mentioned during high school I dated Mitch. I told you his real name before I came up with the idea to conceal identities. I probably won't talk about Mitch more than what I have already told you because....well, I guess it is just much to personal. Either way, I digress... While dating Mitch we worked at the Haunted School House in Vermilion. It was fun. (Note to self...never let my kids work there!) Mitch and his dad had worked there for years. While working there I got to know Jarhead. He was Mitch's friend. Jarhead was actually my age (Mitch was almost 4 years older). My junior year Jarhead was in one of my classes. We became friends. We would talk all the time. I would tell him my Mitch troubles and he would tell me things Mitch was doing behind my back. When Mitch and I broke up Jarhead and I remained friends. We started hanging out together. I knew he liked me all along but pretended Ididn't know. One time I was reading my old journals and I even talked about how I really liked him and thought I should be dating him instead of Mitch. Well, time went by and Jarhead started dating this other girl. She always hated me. She thought I was some sort of huge threat. A year after graduation he and the girl broke up so he started calling me again. He joined the Marines. A day or so before he left he called me asked me on a date. I said yes. I was really excited because I had always liked him so much. He picked me up and we went to the movies to see "The Last of the Mohicans". During the movie we were talking and he somehow we started talking about gays in the military. He called them fags. I made him take me home...right then, in the middle of the movie. I couldn't believe somone could be so mean. He left for the military and we didn't talk. I ran into his sister about a year later and she told me Jarhead had reunited with his old high school sweetheart and they got married. I was a little sad but not that sad. Well, years go by...I started thinking about him. I had this dream...I was at this pizza shop and I saw him. I ran up to him and told him I was so sorry for being immature...and explained he was my one true love (gag now). I tried to look him up, not to break up his marriage. I was not into that kind of stuff. We had been friends, I was sure his wife would be over her jealously issues, after all, she was married to him. Well, I didn't find him. Oh well. After my sisters wedding I was walking around with Rick (a friend) and there was Jarhead and his lovely wife. We chatted small talk. He was out of the military and living a happy little life. I smiled. Rick asked who he was....I said Oh just an old friend from high school.
Another year or so goes by...Melanie and I go to the bar on Chirstmas (see previous post). I ran into this guy and he asks me out (sound familiar???). I gave him my number. A week later Jarhead called. He explains that he and his wife were going through a divorce and how horrible she is blah blah blah.... I should have let that be our only conversation. It wasn't long before Jarhead and I were a serious couple. Months go by....I start to think he was lying to me about all sorts of stuff. Everyone thought I was crazy. He was such a nice guy, why would he lie about anything. Just to give you an idea. One time we were at Screwy Louies (a bar in Kent), I went to the bathroom and he went to buy us drinks. As I walked out of the bathroom, I saw him totally hitting on this girl. Arm around her and everything. I let him talk his way out of it. I don't know why.
In the mean time my friend started dating his room-mate. It made for a big (BIG) mess. Jarhead had become friends with my friends and family. We broke up and got back together a couple of times. My friend knew all kinds of stuff he was doing but never told me. I guess she was afraid her boyfriend (or whatever he was to her...she had another serious boyfriend back at college) would get mad. Or maybe she just didn't want to break my heart. I don't know. I have always wondered. Well, Jarhead and I were back together and things were going slow...but well. I was happy not to have the intesity. He lived in Vermilion and I was in Peninsula. It was nice. Well, on the 4th of July, Melanie was having a "apartment" warming party. Jarhead was going to the islands (Middle Bass Island in Lake Erie). I didn't want to go because he was going with a bunch of his buddies and I wanted to go to Melanie's party anyways. We agreed he would come to Peninsula the next day and that was fine with me. So the next day he comes down and he tells me this story about meeting this girl I know from college. My old room-mate. Sam. We laughed about what a small world it is. Ha ha ha, right? Well, after he left, his friend, Lucas (another old friend from H.S.) called to talk to Tiffany. I said, I have a crazy story about what happened to Jarhead. He said..."Oh I heard what happened..." It was something about the tone of his voice that I thought...hmmmm. So after T. finished on the phone I called Sam. She lived in Pittsburg at the time. I said Hello. She started laughing and said, "Oh my, I am such a slut." I was like what did you do? She said, "I met your FRIEND last night...I was so drunk....I don't even know what he looks like...is he cute????" I just sat there sinking in my seat. "Did you sleep with him?" "Yes." I didn't tell her he was my boyfriend. Why would I? She was pathetic enough. I asked her how in the world they figured out they both knew me. She said afterwords they were talking and she asked him where he was from...he said Vermilion. She said, "Oh my God...Do you know Delilah??". Wouldn't you love to see the look on his face at that moment? Priceless. I called him and of course he denied it. Needless to say we never dated again. He still talks about me to girls he dates (yes they tell me after he does similar things to them). He says I am a crazy girl. So a year or so later, he was dating this girl and somehow she ended up being a sub for one of the classes I was teaching in (again, small world). She kept pressing me for why we broke up. I just told her he was a nice guy we just didn't work out. I told her we had a fight over his trip to the islands. I didn't even go into the details. She started crying. I was like....what is going on, why are you crying over a fight I had with him? She said, "I was dating him then."
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Let me tell you, this is the watered down version of the story. I don't think you need all the gorrey details...but I want to say this. Justiene is in a very similar situation. It is strange that she found me after I went through the same thing. Crazy, I guess. So, read her blog and help boost her confidence. Give her some good advice. I don't know, but maybe it will help.
Have a good day.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
It was all about Cody. Tiffany, Amanda and I had rented this very cool house in Peninsula. Amanda moved out and Tiffany and I stayed an extra year. During the year, Tiffany got her first real boyfriend and I was working like a crazy girl (3 jobs 80 hours a week). I was working at Joe's Crab Shack, which I always refer to as my "Last hurrah". Tiffany and I really never got along that well as room-mates. She was always getting on my nerves, as I am sure I got on her nerves. So, we decided to get our own apartments. She moved to Timber Top and I rented this little one bedroom apartment in Cuyahoga Falls on Sackett. It was cute and cozy. I liked living alone. It wasn't long before I met the neighbors. There was only 4 apartments in the building. I lived in #4. #3 was Joe and this really cute girl, whose name I can't remember. He drove an old Volvo and worked at Borders. She was going to school to be a doctor. #2 was Tom. He was as weird as you can get. He was divorced and had his kids, Kenny & Lisa on the week-ends. #1 was Dave and Cody. Cody was the cutest 6 year old you have ever met. It wasn't long before Cody was knocking on my door talking to me. I had quit Joe's and with that quit going to bars and clubs, which meant I no longer had anything in common with my friends. I had dated (briefly) Tiffany's boyfriend's brother and I didn't really want to hang out with them because he was always there. I spent a lot of time at home. Which meant I spent a lot of time with Cody. He would come over all the time. I didn't mind at all.
I have this friend that is a psychic. Don't ask. But I went to her and she told me I was going to meet this guy. "His name starts with a 'R'. He is not "the one" but he has a little boy who I am supposed to help. Be careful, 'R' is married, probably separated but the wife is still in the picture somewhere." At this time I had already met Dave and didn't think anything about it - the description didn't fit. Oh, I forgot to mention Dave was 42, I was 27. That is just gross.
Tomorrow I and going to continue this story and tell you what happened. It will all make sense then...
Friday, January 27, 2006
1. Dancing Queen by ABBA
"Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen"
2. Creque Alley by The Mamas & Papas
"When Cass was a Sophomore, planned to go to Swarthmore, But she changed her mind one day Standing on the turnpike, thumb out to hitchhike, Take her to New York right away"
3. Me & Bobby Magee by Janis Joplin
"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, Nothing don’t mean nothing honey if it ain’t free, now now. And feeling good was easy, lord, when he sang the blues, You know feeling good was good enough for me, Good enough for me and my bobby mcgee."
4. Lonely People by America (or Jars of Clay)
"This is for all the lonely people thinking that life has passed them by Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup And ride that highway in the sky This is for all the single people thinking that life has left them dry don't give up until you drink from the silver cup you never know until you try"
5. Come Together by The Beatles
"He say I know you, you know me One thing I can tell you is you got to be free Come together right now over me"
6. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da by The Beatles
"Obladi oblada life goes on bra Lala how the life goes on Obladi oblada life goes on bra Lala how the life goes on."
7. Thank You by Led Zepplin
"if the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, There will still be you and me."
8. Crazy by Patsy Cline
"Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonelyI'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blueI knew you'd love me as long as you wanted"
9. Moondance by Van Morrison
"Well, it’s a marvelous night for a moondance ith the stars up above in your eyes fantabulous night to make romance 'neath the cover of october skies"
10. Wild World by Cat Stevens
"If you want to leave, take good care Hope you find a lot of nice things to wear Then a lot of nice things turn bad out there Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world It's hard to get by, just upon a smile Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world I'll always remember you Like a child, girl"
Don't forget to post your favorite older music. Any style music is welcome. Have a good day!!!!!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
- The landlord is getting the work done. I think I told you the step was fixed a couple of days later but now she has this guy, John, coming in to do all sorts of stuff. Fixing trim, laying linoleum, setting nails, all sorts of stuff. It is starting to look so much better. Jude loves John. He calls him his friend. When he is there, Jude gets his tools and helps him.
- Jake has a really good job lead. If you read his blog a while back and he was talking about me getting a job that would require me traveling with "the crazy guy". Well, if Jake gets this Job he will be "the crazy guy's" assistant. It pays well, good hours, little travel time, good benefits. We are excited. We'll have to find a babysitter. That is going to really stink. And I think it is going to be very hard for me to do. I am not that trusting. So far, going to work has been easy because I know the kids have been in good hands (mostly just Jake's) . But we will probably have to find someone we don't know. A stranger. Isn't that scary. The job starts April 3rd.
- My group at the Stow Youth Diversion program went really well this time. I had the middle school group. They were really good. It was mostly boys (one girl, poor thing). They really opened up to me...told me about drinking and some drug use. These are kids from a upper middle class town (a generalization, I know), a good school district and most of them played sports. And they have tried drugs. MIDDLE SCHOOL. Yes, I am going to homeschool my children. It is so scary out there.
- We have been half heartedly looking for a house. We found one in Cuyahoga Falls that seems really nice, actually quite perfect for us. We can't buy it now for several reasons (one being we are in a lease). Hopefully it will still be on the market when we get ready to buy.
- My cat is fine and recovered from the trauma. She'll probably get in the drawer again if we leave it open. Which I did, only because Elise was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up.
- My school is going much better this week. It is still in Akron but 100x's better.
- I have added some new links to my page. Jacki is a girl from church. She has a thoughtful and interesting blog. Correction G is my cousin, Jason. He doesn't use punctuation that much but it is definitely worth your time to read. He writes about his jobs as a Correction Officer & Security at a "club". He is funny.
- I never got around to posting a comment to Pho...it is still formulating. I've been busy.
I think that is it. If you have any questions let me know. I am having some sort of seasonal affective writers block (similar to some other bloggers). I have lots of old stories to tell. Do you guys like that stuff? You don't seem to comment on it as much (i.e. old b-friends, letters, etc...). But then again, I have found the best topics for your comments were about gagging, barfing, the Millers and my husband becoming a preacher. Hmmmmm.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
"That Girl" listed her top 5 songs. #4 was Just Like Heaven by Cure. It is definately one of my favs and was on every compilation I ever made.
Just Like Heaven
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it and I promise you
I promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?"
Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream...
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me
Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Just like heaven
Let no one every come to you without leaving better and happier.
Be a living expression of God’s kindness.
Kindness in your face,
Kindness in your eyes,
Kindness in your smile,
Kindness in your warm greeting."
Can you imagine the world if we were all a little more like Mother Teresa. Even if you aren't a Christian (I have attracted a few readers from "the other side") you can believe in making the world a better place. People fight over abortion, prayers (or Intelligent Design) in school, the war, the president, etc.... but then they don't do one thing in their daily lives to show someone else TRUE kindness. I don't have anyone in particular in mind so don't think I am talking to you. But, I am taking a stand and from now on I am going to be a kinder person. I want to be an expression of God's loving kindness, not God's wrath. Don't you? Okay I am going to give you a Bible verse to ponder. If you don't know me and are just reading this blog randomly, please do no think I am some Religious Freak. I am not.
"But avoid foolish controversies and genalogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless...." Titus 3:9 NIV
And for those King James readers...it says the same, basically.
"But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vainly."
Okay, I have to get going for now.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Mr. Cello dumped me in June and we had a series of break-ups that eventually ended with the "big"one he described, that was mid-July. By time it was the end I was so drained and emotionally beaten, I had to move on, fast... So I dated pretty soon after. Fortunately I had a few suitors who were just waiting to "console" me. I only went out with them until I thought they really liked me and then I dumped them. I started hanging out with an ex-boyfriend (who I will certainly post about some other Monday), who was in a band. He was the lead singer. Through him I met Phat Cat. He was a Drummer. Not for the lead singer's band but in another - he just hung out. He and I became friends. When I went to Kent, in the Fall, he moved to Massillon to live with his grandparents and go to Kent Stark campus. One day I was sitting in my dorm, bored out of my mind and he calls. He was downstairs. Over time he became my buddy. You know, the guy who hangs out with the girl and the girl tells him all her "secrets" and too much detail about the relationships she has. This is the guy the girl confesses to about how mean she is to the other guys, dumps them for things like being nice to her and treating her respectfully. Yes Phat Cat was that guy. He would come to visit me every Tuesday. We would have so much fun. We would order pizza and sit in the common area of the dorm. He would play me this Beatles song on the piano (In My Life). We went ice skating, ate Chinese food, checked out some local bands, talked about life and love. He met a girl he was crazy about. She was cute. He brought her to meet me once. My roommates dog licked her face and she broke out with red rashy hives. Her name is Lauren. I wouldn't doubt if she is famous now. She was going to school for theater. I think that was actually my second year at Kent. He would write me letters, as well. Long letters. I loved getting them. So, this goes on for a few years. I moved to Peninsula with Amanda and Tiffany. Man, we had some great parties. Parties with 100 people. Phat Cat loyally came to every "event" we planned. Those parties were the best. We would have name tags, themes, compilation tapes (background music), food, jello shots, kegs...... A lot of you were there. But we also had "bonfires". They were spur of the moment and usually involved our closest peeps. So, Phat Cat was hanging out at one of the bonfires. He told me he needed to talk to me before either of us had anything to drink. I thought he was going to tell me his mom was sick or something. He was very serious. So we walk over by the garage (next to the garbage cans). He says, "I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since we met and I can do this anymore." Uhhhhhhhh..... I was really blind sided. I had NO IDEA. Now looking back it all makes sense, I was always naive about stuff like that. Everyone else knew but me. I can't remember all the details surrounding our brief "dating" relationship. I was all messed up. He was my boyfriend for a while but I wouldn't tell anyone. It wasn't long before he was the guy I had all sorts of stuff to say about. We never really did break up. I think he just came to the understanding that I wasn't into dating anyone exclusively. I believed something about a caged bird. Silly now, I know. But he and I did remain friends. He joined the military and was stationed in Hawaii, where he met Ivan's brother (another crazy thing). I called him when Jake and I got engaged. He told me he was sad because he always thought he would end up with me. We emailed every now and then. Then he got out of the Navy. He called and we talked. It was after I had Jude and I can't remember what he said to me but I thought whatever it was, wasn't really an appropriate thing to say to Delilah Miller....maybe Delilah Wright but not Delilah Miller. That was the last time I talked to him. I did hear he is this deep thinking "philosopher" of sorts that hangs out in Oberlin. I assume he still plays the drums. He was good. The band he played in for like 5 years is actually kind of famous now, but he is not the drummer anymore. I think they got a new one when he joined the military. Anyways, that is Phat Cat in a nutshell. Not a big tragic romance yet, what I would consider, a significant part of my past.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
1. Wait by Huffamoose
"Hold me looser still, throw me like I'm wet clay."
2. You Can't Always Get What You Want by Rolling Stones
"You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you might findYou get what you need"
3. Always on My Mind by Willie Nelson
"Tell me, Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died,Give me, Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied,I'll keep you satisfied."
4. Happy Phantom by Tori Amos
"And if I died today I'll be the happy phantom and I'll go chasing the nuns out in the yard and I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on."
5. Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley
"But kiss me out of desire, babe, not consolation Oh, you know it makes me so angry 'Cause I know that in time, I'll only make you cry this is our last goodbye"
6. Vertigo by U2
"Girl with crimson nails Has Jesus 'round the neck Swinging to the music Swinging to the music Woooao"
7. Wonderwall by Oasis
"There are many things I'd like to say to you but I don't know how Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me."
8. Get Me Outta Here by Jet
"I'm sacking the man cause the man is a thief I'm kicking the plan before the plan kicks me I'm gonna get me Get me out of here"
9. To Have & To Hold by Depeche Mode
"I need to be cleansed, It's time to make amends, For all of the fun The damage is done And I feel diseased I'm down on my knees And I need forgiveness"
10. Unknown Road by Pennywise
"Do you think that all the years that passed you by we're all well spent"
So now I want everyone to tell me their favorite song or quote from a song. I know you all have one. I want some comments. Seriously. You don't even have to sign in or anything. Just post a comment. Don't be shy (T.C. I'm talking to you!). I know you guys are reading my blog (Jason G....yes, my spies have told me) and others. It isn't that fun for me to write if you guys aren't commenting.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Elise with messy hair. She just woke up when I took this.
Elise, her pile of toys and her favorite toy...Molly.
These were taken this week.
Friday, January 20, 2006
What you just read came from a very "metaphysical" type web-site so please do not prescribe to the philosophy just yet. Let me explain. I do believe in synchronicities but I don't think it has to do with karma or wheels of time (also explained on the web-site). I do, however, think that God "talks" to us through these little coincidences. We all know he puts people in our lives for a reason and nothing is really that random. Well, I have been experiencing an extremely abnormal amount of this phenomenon in my life. It is really crazy. I think it may be the cause of my insomnia (or maybe it really is the coffee...). Either way, I have always had these odd occurrences but this week I have had 2 pretty big ones. Here they are...
First, Jake meets this guy at work. His first day he came home and told me about this guy. After meeting him for a few times I told Jake I felt like he was in our life for a reason...Not sure why but I didn't think it was just some random thing. He has spent some time with us. Not a lot , just work with Jake and he's had dinner a few times. Nothing big. He just moved to the area and his family lives about an hour away. Well, to make a long story a little less long (many of you have already heard this...) this new couple started at our church. I noticed them on the first day and have wanted to talk to them. I almost felt "drawn" to them. After a few weeks, we just realized Jake's friend and the guy from church are brothers..... It blew my mind.
Then today I went into work for a "debriefing" from the week. I met the new intern. She seems very nice and we talk a bit. She tells me she is a Sociology/ Criminal Justice major at Akron U. I was thinking, hmmm, I know someone with that major so I told her I have a friend who just graduated with that degree. She asked me her name. I am thinking, "Big school, Big department, she won't know her." I say, Justiene. She knows her. She used to work with her and went to school with her. Then we are talking and she tells me she works at the University in the financial aid department. I ask her if that is part of admissions. She says not really. Same building...not the same department. I tell her I know someone in Admissions. I say, "I know it is a big place but you won't know this girl." She says (before I tell her) Jackie? HOW DID SHE KNOW? I asked her how she knew that is what I was going to say and she said she didn't know she just had a feeling. Whoa. Just crazy. Twenty minutes and we are aleady connected.
I am sure most of you think I am nuts but I am not. There is something to this. I've never been wrong about it. There are a few people who I know were meant to be in my life. Has this ever happened to you? Well, it has but have you ever paid attention? Are you listening?
I don't know if I will write tomorrow. Applehead and the family are coming up to visit. So I will talk to you later.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Well, I am watching "The Office" and I want to close with this quote...."Hey, does it smell like updog in here?
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
On anther note, a girl in my class today told me she heard there was a "National Pot Day" where everyone can smoke pot and not get arrested. Hmmmmm. Reason #324 that I will homeschool my children. I've given Jake my 2 year notice.
Short Post, I know, but I've had serious insomnia (for several days now) and I think I am finally tired.
Monday, January 16, 2006
I didn't really date a cello but I dated a cellist. But to be honest, I dated him because he played the cello, so essentailly, I dated a cello. I remember the first time I saw him. I was at LCCC and he was walking across campus with this cello on his back. I was sitting with in "the lounge" with some friends and they said they knew him. I knew I had to meet him. A cellist? I was already in love. Just a little background info. I have always had a thing for musicians, although most of them are really wierd. Well, it wasn't long before Mr. Cello and I were a hot couple. No one could believe it. He was NOTHING like me. For starters, he was a member of MENSA. You have to have some super high IQ to get into that group. He thought on a different level. He was very introverted. To an extreme. But he loved his cello. He'd practice until his fingers bled. It was his obsession. The more he obsessed, the more I liked him. We spent our time together watching orchestras and "high art" music. I learned the differnce between Baroque and Classical. He also played in rock band. A cello in a rock band (oh man, I LOVED that cello). He never talked. Well, he talked to me but he wouldn't say anything to anyone else. I bet there are a few people reading this blog right now who remember him and remember being around him but never heard him talk. And if he did talk you couldn't understand exactly what he was talking about because he was so intelligent that he was socially inept. He has some mental issues and I am a fixer. I wanted to fix him and help him. It was draining. We dated for a year. He proposed to me on Christmas, in front of his family. I said yes, not because I wanted to marry him but because I didn't want to end it with him. I was 21. On New Year's Eve we got into the worst argument because I talked to his friends and he didn't like that. (Hello, do you know me? I talk to everyone!?) Things went downhill fast. We did have fun. He wrote me a song and recorded it with him playing the cello and guitar. I just threw it away when we moved last October. And, no, I didn't listen to it.
Well, my sister came home from college in May or June. She was dating Ivan (who she has been married to 8 years). Mr. Cello accused me of being in love with Ivan. Yes, take a moment to laugh...it is ridiculous. We had a series of break ups that finally ended with him breaking up with me and telling me I was too social for him. He said he wanted a girlfriend who didn't have friends or talk to other people. He was serious. He broke my heart. No one understood what I saw in him. I can't really explain it. He tried to get me back for a long time. It was hard because we had planned to go to Kent together and we lived in the same dorm, three floors from each other. He would leave me crazy letters (see deardelilah.blogspot.com, letters from D.S.). I lost touch with him when I moved from Peninsula to Cuyahoga Falls. So, he tried for 6 or 7 years to get me back. Wow.
Either way, are you wondering why I picked Mr. Cello first? He is not the most interesting story. But today, we took Jude to see The Incredibles on Ice and I ran into Mr. Cello's best friend. He was with his wife and kids. I haven't run into any of that crowd for about 8-9 years. They said that Mr. Cello is living in Akron. Yes...that is what I said. He isn't from this area so I was a little suprised. He has never dated anyone since me. He is getting his Masters and TEACHES undergrad Math. I know, I can't imagine. I have a box of pictures of this man I have been carrying around with me, hoping to someday send them to his mother. She moved. I think I will send them to him...no return address of course. He asked me for them once, while we were in college, but I said No.
It took me a LONG time to even listen to cello music after the break up. I had a very hard time differentiating the two. I finally got over it. I even bought a Yo Yo Ma CD. I do love the cello. It is my favorite. I can say that now.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
The quick version of my spiritual walk...I was in second grade. I was standing in line, in the library, waiting to go back to my classroom. My friend, Karen Horniek, was telling me how Jesus lived in her heart. I asked her how that could happen. She said you just have to pray and ask him to come live there and he will. So, I closed my eyes and prayed to God to forgive my sins and come into my heart. I didn't really fully understand but I knew that is what I wanted. We went to church off and on while I was growing up. Then in the sixth grade I met Stephanie. She was my best friend and her mom started taking me to church every Sunday. I loved every minute of it. In High School, while other kids were going to parties, I would go to church. Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night, Thursday night Bible study, Saturday (Softball or Volleyball). Now, I am going to be honest, Church was a big social club for me. I did learn a lot of stuff but I also was very hurt and even a little scarred by events at the church. That is where I met by long time boyfriend, Mitch. I have mentioned him before. Mitch pretty much defined my teen years. Mitch was older and best friends with Brad. Brad was a few years older than Mitch and newly married. Brad was our Youth Leader. One time Brad, his wife, Mitch and I went on a double date. It think I was probably 17 at the time. We went to Brad's house and he put in a PORN movie. Yes, I watched a Porn movie with John Holmes in it, with my Youth Leader. Did I say SCARRED? No I didnt' like it and No I didn't get addicted to porn but I learned that Christians weren't the same people in church as they are in the privacy of thier own homes. Well, Mitch and I broke up later and some other back stabbing stuff went on (from adults not my peers) so I quit going to church. I wasn't Anti-church. I still believed in God. I just choose to put Him on the backburner of my life. During the next 7-8 years of my life I looked everywhere for answers. Self-Help Books, Counselors, Psychics, Alcohol, Men, College... I did miss church and often made New Year's Resolutions to go to church more often. After I turned 25 I started dabbling in church. I would take a class. I even taught a class with my friend on Wednesday nights to little kids but I wouldn't go on Sunday. I would go to a church but NEVER talk to anyone. My best friend was "agnostic" and cynical. She didn't understand. So when I got to my current church I was a little gun shy to say the least. I would have rather gone to a bar to make friends. But I knew that isn't what God wanted for me. So now hear I am, I think I have grown so much in the past 3 years. I felt for a long time that I had to be reserved about my Spirituality because, well, I thought I was being a fraud. I thought there it couldn't be real that the girl that has been so drunk that she wakes up in the morning and doesn't even know where her car is, could possibly be forgiven or loved by God. So there's the truth. I am a Christian and I love my life. I think it is only getting better and God is to thank for it. Does that mean I am some weird freak person who is judgemental or unforgiving? NO. Does that mean I think I am perfect? NO. Do I think I am better than someone who isn't a Christian? NO. Does that mean I can't have fun? NO. I still make mistakes and I am still growing and learning. Learning how to be a better person. I didn't have one big life changing moment where the clouds opened up and rays of light beamed down, while the angels sang to let me know God is with me. I just believe. That's it. I am not your typical Christian. I am a Democrat. Conservative Democrat. You might not agree with me and that is okay. I love going to Church, I don't think twice about it. On Sunday, I am there. I rarely miss because I think everything I learn is useful in my daily life. I have made friends and finally have a sense of community. It is better than you think. But that is that...my long winded response.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
1. go to your archive
2. find the 23rd post
3. find the 5th sentence
4. post the text of the sentence in a blog entry along with these instructions
5. tag 5 other people
My sentence is something so typical of me...
Can you you believe that?
Here is who I am tagging.
Toys R Us Kid(s)
I was thinking that several of you don't have a 23rd post yet so I guess you can do your first post instead. Everyone will be checking your blog so do it soon. Don't tag me back. I won't do it again.
I plan to have a real post today sometime so check back.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Have a good night. I will post tommorow.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
If you want more information on STD's go to this web-site. It has all the gorey details.
Well, it is time for me to step down and go get Elise who just woke up from her nap. Have a good one.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. Thedisciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it:"Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me.These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Mark 10:14-15 (The Message)
I am certain we are all somewhat familiar with the above verse. I know I have heard and read it several times during the course of my life as a Christian. But what does it really mean? I thought I had an idea of what it meant and I did to a certain extent. You need tobe like a child to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Be like a child? How does one accomplish such a feat? As we were growing up I'm sure at one point or another we were told that we were acting like a child(sometimes Delilah says I still act like a child) ;-). When we were told this it was usually because we were having a temper tantrum for some reason or another. Some of us have children the rest of us don't. For those of us that have children, have you just sat and watched them play by themselves? I have watched Jude from afar (well not really from that far away, he is in the sun room and I am in the living room) as so not to bother him. I have sneaked into his room when he is suppose to be taking anap but instead he his playing in his bed, singing to himself, reading a book (he really can't read, that I know of), playing with his matchbox cars, etc. It is an amazing thing to watch a child at play. For the rest of us that don't have children I encourage you to visit ahouse that has children and just watch them play by themselves, I am sure you will understand what I'm trying to get at here. They play without a worry in the world, carefree. It is just their toys and them.We have all at one point asked God to speak to us. I have been doing a lot of this lately. Last night at our church, we had a praise andworship concert. I took Jude with me because he loves music and his baby sitter is a lead singer in the band. When the music started to play Jude was dancing around and clapping his hands, before I knew ithe was in the aisle having a grand ole time. At one point I lookedover at Jude dancing in the aisle and he had his hands lifted up to to God praising him. I thought it was kind of odd that he was doing that because our Sunday morning worship is not even close to raising our hands. There was a gentleman and a women sitting across the aisle from me. The gentleman had his hands raised in praise. Jude was mimicking what the gentleman was doing. At this point the above verse became so much clearer to me and it took God using Jude to clarify itf or me. After last night I believe as Christians we ought to praise God without a care in the world. Like a child at play. We shouldn't be concerned with what others might think about us praising God.
I don't blog much about Elise because she is really the best baby ever. She sleeps through the night, barely cries, plays, is on a schedule, eats with no problems and is just a great baby. She is really a daddy's girl. It is cute. She says Da Da. She can blow kisses but this week-end I tried and tried to get her to do it and she never did...little booger. Jude is still like that...never wants to perform for me. Aren't kids funny.
Well, Elise is really small for her age. She is healthy just small. It is hard for me to accept her growing up because she is so small. She is too little to be crawling and trying to stand up. AND...she is still just a baby. She is only 7 1/2 months old. I think I am in trouble.
Have a great day.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Pretty much the week-end went of without a hitch. We got there on Friday. All the kids were so excited to be together. Saturday morning we got up and enjoyed a delicious breakfast of Flathead & Gingerbread Pancakes. Then we opened the gifts. I think everyone liked thier gifts. We got Paul a large print Bible. I typed up a letter in a 28 pt. font explaining we could get him the Giant print if he needed it. We got Tim a new Indians baseball hat to replace the one he has been wearing around since High School...it was really worn out and gross. We gave him a garbage bag as well. After the gifts we had to run to town for Lydia's birthday cake. It was Jake, Tim, Eric and me. We stopped by and did a little geocaching. It was a fairly easy one but with the three guys we had to go the "short cut" you know...as the crow flies... I ended up sliding down this embankment, on my butt, and almost ended up in the creek. Nice. We went home, ate a fabulous meal, then off to geocache again. We did a mile and half hike. It was uphill half way and down hill the other half. Either way, I got my work out. We got back with just enough time to do Lydia's birthday cake and gifts. We had to get the kids ready for bed because we were all planning to go to church the next morning.
So, Sunday morning we decided to pack our stuff up and just take it to church with us so we wouldn't have to drive back to the property. Tim had already left for church because he plays the drums in the worship band. Steph and the kids were going to ride with Paul and Linda so, Ashely and Miles rode with us. Eric had already went back to Ohio, he had to work today. Well, right before I got in the van I thought...man, nothing crazy happened this week-end. I took a few snap shots of all the mud and considered calling this post Mud and talking about how everything is so stinking muddy down there. Well, the church the Miller clan attends is very far away. It takes about 45 minutes to get to. We got in the van and we were listening to my Kenny Chesney Greatest Hits CD. Ashely and Miles like Kenny. They have some of his CD's. I was suprised they were singing along. Well, Paul decided to go the back roads. He thought it was funny that I might get car sick. Real funny. The kids ended up falling asleep during the long ride. We ended up driving on the highway for most of the trip. We get off at our exit and take a couple of turns and the kids are starting to stir. I hear Miles cough, then Ashely says, "Miles just threw up." I'm thinking....this can't be happening. I hear another heave, then another and another. Jake immediately rolls down the windows. Ashley says "It's in the cup holder, like last time." I looked at Jake and say, "I guess I have something to blog about now." I really did think that...I have a serious blogging problem. We got to the church seriously, one minute later. I told Jude not to look back and got him out of the car so fast. Jake got out of the van, took one look at Miles and threw up...right there in the church parking lot. Miles finally got out of the van. He still had chewed up eggs hanging off his face. This time it didn't all land in the cup holder...it was all over him. He walked over to Paul, who took one look at him and ran away gagging. Linda went inside to get some stuff to clean up the breakfast barf. Miles changed and we all went in while Linda cleaned up the mess. She also threw up (or dry heaved) out in the parking lot. Jake said the when he smelled bacon, he just lost it.
I know it is hard to believe this could really happen but it did. Nothing is EVER normal with this family. I am ashamed that I even thought about doubting they would deliver a fantastic story for everyone to read.
Have a great day! Don't eat eggs and bacon anytime soon. Think of my blog as your "New Year's Diet Plan". Read it and you won't feel like eating.
Friday, January 06, 2006
I really have a ton of stuff to do. I still haven't wrapped gifts. I didn't finish Nolan's gift so I had to make a last minute trip to Target. I was so tired last night. I got up early to get stuff done but you can see I am procrastinating by writing a blog about nothing. I don't know if I will have a chance to post Saturday...I will be in West Virginia. I think they have the water problem fixed. They have told me they haven't had any water problems since our last visit. I haven't heard any drama in a while. I am sure something will come up with the whole gang there. At least this time we have two trailers to stay in. Well, have a great friday.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
On another topic, you may have read in Jake's blog that we are looking for new jobs. I will be making some sort of transition probably closer to summer and hopefully Jake will be changing jobs even sooner. I have been seriously been considering a career change. I love the "service" field but I need to make my time away from my kids worth my while. I have been torn for a long time. Jake had mentioned a job where I would be traveling. I have very MIXED feelings about the whole situation but honestly, that is not the job I am going to be doing. I have a couple of other things in mind. I will keep you updated as things come about.
Well, we have Christmas with the Millers coming up this week-end. I am still working on the gifts. I have A LOT of work to do tommorow after work: finish 2 gifts, shop for at least one more gift, wrap ALL gifts I am taking, pack, etc... I had two extra weeks and I am still rushing. I did take my Christmas tree down last night but I am trying to stay in the Christmas spirit. Hopefully it all goes off without a hitch but that is highly unlikely.
Other than those things, life is going well. The kids are great...and getting cuter and smarter each day.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Jake left you a note with November’s rent check concerning a few maintenance issues. He did say you spoke with him briefly but we have not seen the results.
I am including a list of items that need to be addressed and/or corrected.
· We need a step for the front door. It is dangerous for our family and our houseguests.
· The entry way area needs to be finished.
· The floor by the front closet needs to be finished. There are nails sticking out of the floor.
· We need a storm window for the front screen door.
These are all things you told us would be done before we moved in or soon after. We have been patient for 3 months. We also request you remove the ugly buckets of dirt and rotor tiller from the front yard.
If you can not make the repairs we request to break our lease and you return our security deposit to us. We will give you a 30 day notice before moving. Our other option is to begin legally withholding our rent by placing it in a court approved escrow account, until the repairs are made. This is an option that is completely legal.
I would like to also let you know, as a landlord, you need to give us a 24 hour notice before entering our dwelling. If you are going to come into the apartment you need to let us know in advance. We aren’t trying to be jerks about this, we understand this rental situation is unique but you still need to inform us.
We don’t want to have hard feelings, we just want what was promised to us and we need to assure the safety of our family.
Thank you and Happy New Year.
Jake & Delilah Miller
While we were in Tennesee, she came in our apartment and left a light on. She has not talked to us but today I saw her for the first time in two months (literally). She was moving 5 gallon buckets of dirt (about 10 of them) from the front yard. I smiled and said Hi. She turned her back to me. Nice. Did she think we were just going to ignore that the work was not done? I know she probably thought I was harsh in the letter but I think it would have been nastier to just call the building inspector. Either way, I think the whole situation stinks. I hate renting and just want to buy a house. If someone wants to give us a house please let me know.
Have a good day.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Today we are having Christmas with my family, at my sister's house in Lorain. It should be nice. All but one of my gifts were handmade. I think it is going to go over well. I made Indy dress up clothes. She is really into weddings, since she was in one last fall. I made her a bouquet and veil, a sling for her baby dolls, a pink, sparkley dress, a pink poofy skirt and some chunky pink "diamond" bracelets. I think she is going to love it. Hopefully. Jude is getting a guitar from my sister. It is real and kid sized. He is going to love it. He is so into the cowboy thing right now. Last night we went to the Looman's house. Everytime a new person came in he went to get his boots to show them. Isn't that funny? He is so proud. I think the guitar will complete his "Woody" image.
Have a Happy New Year! Remember, there is an old saying that says whatever you do on the first day of the year is what you will be doing for they entire year.....