Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Library Time....

I am a loyal patron of our local library.  I love it there.  Many of the librarians know me by my name.  I like that.  I usually go the library a couple of times a week.  I read a lot - read to myself kind of reading.  Plus, I read a lot to the kids - we have about a 10-20 book a week habit (as I like to call it).  When I stayed at home with the kids, we attended story time.  It was there that I learned the words and dance to Tooty Ta.  I borrow books, CD's, movies....... I am a library addict. I am sure you get the point. 

Because I am at the library so often I frequently run into people who I know at the library.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I went there without seeing someone I knew.  I like that, too.  Last week I posted on Facebook about how I saw an old friend there but I didn't talk to her.  I hid from her.  Behind a stack of CD's.  And then behind a computer monitor.  I know - there must be something wrong with me. 

Tonight I had to go to the grocery store, so I decided I should return my current batch of stuff to the library.  When I got there I remembered I had made a "reading list" of kids books I wanted to check out for the kids.  Again, I do realize this isn't normal but I've never claimed to be "normal".  I forgot my list but remembered there was a list of the librarians favorite children's books on the library web site.  So.....I went to the computer to search for the list. (I know this is long and detailed but I am getting to a point - so stay with me).  As I am standing at my computer waiting for my info I saw this guy - well, young man (he looked around 18) walking to the computer across from me. He had a few piercings, skinny jeans and converse type shoes.  He walked like it was taking every ounce of energy he could muster to just walk.  He sat down.  I couldn't help but look at him.  He looked so distraught.  I could feel his burden - if that even makes sense.  After a minute I saw this woman walking straight for him.  She may have been his mother.  Or maybe the mother to one of his friends. She said something to him - maybe his name.  He turned and he hugged her.  Now this is where we are going to pause.  If you don't know this about me - I am not a hugger.  I've always thought it was because I just don't like being that physically close to other people.  I don't want my boobs squishing up against other people and I just really don't like hugging.  I get teased about it.  But here is the thing.  I think most hugging is just unnecessary.  It is fake....."oh let me give you a hug".  I mean really does a quick squish and back pat really mean anything?  It is kinda like when you ask someone how they are and then you don't listen to the answer.  The truth is I don't mind hugging when it is needed - when a friend is hurt or crying or even when a client is very upset.  From now on I want everyone to take note - I don't hate hugging - just foo-foo hugging.  So, I watched this odd pair embrace (yes, we are back in the library).  It was not a superficial hug.  He grabbed on to her like he needed someone - anyone even - the give him that physical embrace.  I watched.  I couldn't stop.  He was gripping at her coat.  It was so intense that I felt tears welling up in my eyes.  I heard her say she tried to call him and that was it. I forced myself to walk away.  I did see him when I was leaving the library.  They were ahead of me in line.  I was waiting as the woman disputed some late fee.  He looked stressed.  I wanted to hug him.  Or cry for him.  I asked him is she needed money for the fine.  He said no.  Okay.  He probably thought I was some crazy lady - talking to him. I saw him smoking in the parking lot as I pulled away.  I just wonder what he is going through.  I wonder if he is okay.  It is just strange how you can witness something and just know.  Sometimes I wish we could know what is going on in other peoples lives - so we could help each other.  Other times I think it is best we don't.  I probably wouldn't sleep much at night.

And that was my trip to the library today.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Writers Block.....

I keep getting comments about how I don't blog that much anymore.  At first I denied it had anything to do with Facebook but it really does.  I can jump on Facebook and type a one liner that pretty much sums up what I am doing or what is going on and them I am done. Also, I get instant gratification because people leave comments.  I need validation.  I like comments.  People don't really comment on my blog.  On top of all that - I just have writers block.  I don't know what to write.  I do so much writing at work, maybe I use up all my words!?  Who knows.  I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say.  If I could write about work and all the crazy stuff that goes on there.....man - you just wouldn't believe it.  Every single day something UNBELIVABLE happens.  It is a good thing I have a sense of humor.  If all that wasn't enough (whine, whine, whine.....I know) - this weather is KILLING me.  I am so sick of the cold.  I don't mind the snow so much but it hasn't been over freezing in a month.  It is depressing. 

And life is busy as always.....Jake and I are both working.  Jake goes to school.  The kids go to school.  The dog....well, that is like having another kid.  We go to church.  We teach the youth group.  Cook.  Clean.  Homework.  Laundry.  Shovel. Groceries.  Wow.

I am still thinking about writing a book.  I know I just need to sit down and start.  Here are some ideas.  Tell me what you think.  And if you have any ideas blog posts tell me that too.... 

1.  A book about a newly married, first time mom who gets dumped by her BFF and her search for a replacement.  It will include quirky antics of being the outcast Mom for not caring about things like sending your kids to the best pre-preschool and tape on the walls.

2.  A story about the dating-capades of a twenty something woman - who doesn't quite have it all together.  It will include stories about falling down and farting on dates (or at a new year's eve party) and going on a blind date with a man she met by calling the wrong number.

3. Remember my series of blog posts called Ex-Men Monday/Tuesday.  This book could be a collection of short stories about guys I dated in the past.  I'd include more detail and change their names to something similar but not the same (ex. Ned instead of Ed, Anthony instead of Tony, Jerk Face instead of Mike - wait that might not work....). I'd call the book "You're so Vain, You Probably Think This Book Is About You".  Of course I would get permission from Carly Simon first.  I've probably put the most thought into this one but I don't know if I'd want my mother, father, pastor, children, youth group kids..... to read this.  I'd have to really add a bunch of stuff so no one would know what was real and what was made up!  LOL. 

4.  This one is a lot different than the others.  A book about a woman that is driving to work and sees another woman climb to the ledge of a bridge and jump to her death.  The story would be about how seeing that impacted her life and her search for answers about the dead woman's life & family.  Last week someone I know did see a woman jump from the Y Bridge in Akron while he was on his way to work.  His wife posted about it on Facebook and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.  Crazy.

That is all I have for now.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Hugs & Kisses

OMG....wait until you see the cutest Valentine's EVER!  I hope everyone feels loved today!!!

Sunday, February 07, 2010