Library Time....

I am a loyal patron of our local library.  I love it there.  Many of the librarians know me by my name.  I like that.  I usually go the library a couple of times a week.  I read a lot - read to myself kind of reading.  Plus, I read a lot to the kids - we have about a 10-20 book a week habit (as I like to call it).  When I stayed at home with the kids, we attended story time.  It was there that I learned the words and dance to Tooty Ta.  I borrow books, CD's, movies....... I am a library addict. I am sure you get the point. 

Because I am at the library so often I frequently run into people who I know at the library.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I went there without seeing someone I knew.  I like that, too.  Last week I posted on Facebook about how I saw an old friend there but I didn't talk to her.  I hid from her.  Behind a stack of CD's.  And then behind a computer monitor.  I know - there must be something wrong with me. 

Tonight I had to go to the grocery store, so I decided I should return my current batch of stuff to the library.  When I got there I remembered I had made a "reading list" of kids books I wanted to check out for the kids.  Again, I do realize this isn't normal but I've never claimed to be "normal".  I forgot my list but remembered there was a list of the librarians favorite children's books on the library web site.  So.....I went to the computer to search for the list. (I know this is long and detailed but I am getting to a point - so stay with me).  As I am standing at my computer waiting for my info I saw this guy - well, young man (he looked around 18) walking to the computer across from me. He had a few piercings, skinny jeans and converse type shoes.  He walked like it was taking every ounce of energy he could muster to just walk.  He sat down.  I couldn't help but look at him.  He looked so distraught.  I could feel his burden - if that even makes sense.  After a minute I saw this woman walking straight for him.  She may have been his mother.  Or maybe the mother to one of his friends. She said something to him - maybe his name.  He turned and he hugged her.  Now this is where we are going to pause.  If you don't know this about me - I am not a hugger.  I've always thought it was because I just don't like being that physically close to other people.  I don't want my boobs squishing up against other people and I just really don't like hugging.  I get teased about it.  But here is the thing.  I think most hugging is just unnecessary.  It is fake....."oh let me give you a hug".  I mean really does a quick squish and back pat really mean anything?  It is kinda like when you ask someone how they are and then you don't listen to the answer.  The truth is I don't mind hugging when it is needed - when a friend is hurt or crying or even when a client is very upset.  From now on I want everyone to take note - I don't hate hugging - just foo-foo hugging.  So, I watched this odd pair embrace (yes, we are back in the library).  It was not a superficial hug.  He grabbed on to her like he needed someone - anyone even - the give him that physical embrace.  I watched.  I couldn't stop.  He was gripping at her coat.  It was so intense that I felt tears welling up in my eyes.  I heard her say she tried to call him and that was it. I forced myself to walk away.  I did see him when I was leaving the library.  They were ahead of me in line.  I was waiting as the woman disputed some late fee.  He looked stressed.  I wanted to hug him.  Or cry for him.  I asked him is she needed money for the fine.  He said no.  Okay.  He probably thought I was some crazy lady - talking to him. I saw him smoking in the parking lot as I pulled away.  I just wonder what he is going through.  I wonder if he is okay.  It is just strange how you can witness something and just know.  Sometimes I wish we could know what is going on in other peoples lives - so we could help each other.  Other times I think it is best we don't.  I probably wouldn't sleep much at night.


And that was my trip to the library today.