Thursday, September 24, 2009

My Blue Period....

The famous artist Picasso had a few years where he painted everything in monochromatic colors (blue).  It is said that he friend commit suicide and that is what set off the blue period and many have thought it was a time of depression for Picasso.  They call it The Blue Period.

I think someday I will look back and think this is my blue period.  It isn't that I am particularly depressed.  This is just a very stressful time.  Jake has been out of work for a year and a half. We are quickly approaching the end of his unemployment and nothing looks that promising.  It is scary.  I think I've been fairly positive throughtout this entire process.  It has helped that I found my job right away and that I really enjoy what I do.  And I have enjoyed having Jake around more.  I love that while I am at work he is with the kids and they aren't with "an outside" person.  I hate what loosing his job has done to his self-esteem.  It is difficult to loose a job and even more difficult to not have another one after such a long time.  He is going to school.  That has been good for him.  But the schedule is grueling.  I get home and he leaves.  I really really dislike that part.  I also hate having limited money. We've talked about that before....

I know that God has a plan.  That doesn't mean I am going to like it.  I've also mentioned that a time or two.  I will admit at times I feel downright angry about it.  Then I feel guilty about feeling angry. 

This is my Blue Period. 

I work with people every day that honestly are only to be described as destitute.  It should put things in perspective for me.  I know I am blessed.  It doesn't take the worry away. 

We are starting to think outside the box as far as jobs.  It is a distinct possibility we will have to move.  It is almost devistating for me.  I cry when I think about it. 

This month has been so hard.  Not only are we stressed about the impending loss of income but my digital camera died.  I've been wanting a new one for a long time but NOW IS NOT THE TIME.  Then on Sunday our desktop died.  With pictures.  Pictures we haven't backed up for months.  Oh....and pictures we had backup to another hard drive that also crashed.  Oh and there were other important things on there like financial stuff and resumes.....  It is sickening.  I don't dare ask 'what else could go wrong'.  I am wiser than that. 

So, if you are the praying type....keep us in your prayers.  If you hear about any jobs...let us know.  I will keep you updated.


whirleygirl amanda said...

hughug((((delilah and her beautiful family)))hughug

Mandy said...

Both my place and Jason's work are hiring. It's mostly manual labor but some office stuff. That would also mean a move back to Wayne county. I hope things look better soon!

dave woods said...

your in my prayes don't give up.