Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day!

Last Tuesday I called my Mom. I call her pretty often. I am usually in my car driving in between appointments. So, she answered the phone. I asked her what she was up to....she replied she was cutting her rose stems. I guess I ignored the comment - I did hear her but it didn't really register. I started rambling about whatever. She interrupted me and said "Do you know what I am talking about?" I said, "No". Well, she repeated herself then thanked me for the roses. Uhhhh...What roses? She sounded confused then she went to recheck the card. Sure enough it said they were from Jake and Delilah. I was thinking, that is so strange....I wondered who would sent flowers to my Mom from me? After a short discussion I decided to call Jake. I asked him if he sent the flowers. He denied it. Then....I knew. He is a bad secret keeper. He sent me flowers too. He didn't tell me he sent his Mom, my Mom and Me flowers for Mother's Day. He didn't tell me about sending them to our Mom's because he knew he couldn't keep it a secret that he was sending them to me too. Later my Mom called him to say Thank You. She started to cry (man I hope she doesn't mind I am telling everyone this...). She never told me why she started to cry but I told Jake it is probably because her son-in-law is more thoughtful than either of her daughters. That was supposed to be a joke but sadly it really isn't. A couple of years ago my sister and I both didn't send my Mom a card on Mother's Day. I didn't think it was a big deal. I had bought her one (wait I think I made her one) - I just hadn't mailed it. I knew I'd be seeing her in the next few weeks so I didn't mail it. Unfortunately, this is how I operate. I have been known to forget birthdays and other occasions. I do have good intentions. I really do. And even when I do remember I forget to call or send a card. Well, at the time I couldn't understand why a card was so important to her. It is just a card, right? WRONG. Have you ever heard of the Love Languages? Well, I haven't read the book but I've heard a little about it and I think there is a Love Language about Gifts or something. I think that is my Mom's. She loves to give gifts. That is how she shows her love. So, when Heather and I didn't send her a card or get her a gift she felt we didn't love her. I'd like to formally apologize to her now. Sorry Mom.

Today Jake taught a lesson to our "teens" at church. It was about Mother's Day. He asked a question: "If you were dying in bed with your Mother by your side what would you want to say to her?" That is a pretty deep question. One girl said she would tell her Mom that she did a good job and that she wasn't to blame for her kids screw ups (I am paraphrasing). It made me really think about some of the horrible stuff I have put my poor Mother through. I am sure there was a time when she thought I would never amount to anything. My teen years...well, I won't even tell you about all that. But now that I am a Mother I think I understand my Mom so much better. She was a good Mom. No...a Great Mom. She always went out of the way to make things special. I remember big Birthday parties - everything from 7th w/ Strawberry Shortcake to my Surprise 16th Party. She almost always made a cake for me. At the time I thought she was "old fashioned" for not buying them from the store. She sewed us clothing, toys & quilts. She cooked homemade meals. Delicious meals - some of which I still can't imitate. We always ate dinner at the kitchen table. Together.

I could go on and on about all the wonderful things my Mom did. And I could spend a fair amount of time telling you the things I think she did wrong. But that wouldn't be very nice. And the truth is I've gotten over those things. Life is to short to blame your parents for everything. So, for Mother's Day this year my sweet Husband sent my Mom Flowers. And I am telling my Mom that I think she did a great job and I know she feels like she made mistakes and probably blames herself for all sorts of unsavory things I did but they are not her fault. And in the end I turned out okay and I hope I can be as good of a Mom as she is!!!

Oh & I hope the flowers count since I didn't mail her card.....

I love you Mom. I hope you had a great day!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Mother's Day Aunt Deanna!

Love you!

Minta

Heather Hurt Photography said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather Hurt Photography said...

That's the great thing about mothers! They learn to tune things out very early so that one good thing will erase a whole slew of bad! Think of the pain we endure with child-bearing. Yet, we tend to have more and more! Why? It's soooo worth it! Personally, I don't celebrate "Mother's Day". Not b/c I don't absolutely LOVE my mom. But, it's a very commercial day. I much more love getting a heartfelt gift when I don't expect it than one that you had to force yourself to buy b/c it was THAT day! :-) I think it's so important to cherish your mom daily, not once a year (not that that's all, but ya know what I mean). In a few weeks, surprise her. You're very clever, think of something very sweet/thoughtful and send it her way. One time my daughter and I drove to my mother's (took the long country roads) and we stopped to gather every type of wildflower we saw. A 20-25 minute drive took about 1 1/2 hours. You must know, now that you're a mommy, how proud you've made yours !

Anonymous said...

Happy Mother's Day!
I miss your Mom being so far away. I have to say she is a wonderful, loving, thoughtful, caring, talented,and amazing women! I love her!
Shawna