Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Inside My Head....

Last year, when I was adjusting to being a stay at home mom I had some issues. Being cooped up in the house all day long with piles of laundry and the same daunting tasks, such as picking up the same blanket 12 times a day, staring me in the face was...well, not what I expected. I spent the winter being sick (from the pregnancy) and poisoned with a bad attitude. I was upset about losing my job and about all the backlash from leaving our old church. I let those things that bothered me so much weigh me down. But, luckily for me a new season came (literally and figuratively) and I made a change. I decided I had to get out of the house. And, honestly, so did the kids. So, we starting doing stuff. Man, I felt so much better about life. I began to forgive my husband (who I had been angry with for some time), I started enjoying and appreciating our new church, I stopped thinking about the old church and wondering what they were saying about this and that, I forgot about the betrayal I felt towards my old boss.... The list could go on and on. Basically I felt renewed and got on with things. I think I am doing a good job of not falling into that trap again while we go through this crazy time in our life. I keep telling myself everything is going to work out and we are going to end up where we need to be. I really believe that. Things are already starting to happen. If you read Jake's blog you already know, he had an interview last week. He hasn't heard anything and I think he is a little upset about it. He is struggling a little with being at home and just trying to figure out what the future holds. He was really pushing for going to the DR. I keep saying, "please stop talking about it." It isn't an option for me. It just isn't. Thank God, he went out to breakfast with one of the elders from our church today and he said it would be a bad idea at this time (he is a very wise man - I guess I should send him is $20 huh? LOL - just kidding). Jake did sign up for classes. He has a year and a half to finish his degree. I am willing to get a job. It isn't what we had planned but....we can do this. I have an interview on Monday. It is a local job, so we would stay here. I do have a job lead in Tennessee but so far nothing in West Virginia (sent any leads this way....). Yesterday, one of my old bosses (man I have A LOT of previous supervisors....) called and told me about an opening at a shelter for a Volunteer Coordinator (someone who gets people to volunteer and trains them and all that). I sent my resume and not too long after got a response (I love sending resumes via the internet). She said she was doing interviews at the end of the month and looked forward to speaking with me (Yippy). I am excited to jump back into working in the social service field. I have missed it.

So, basically I am just rambling on and on about what is going on and how I feel about it. At first I was focusing on the fact that I was planning to home school and I expected to be a stay at home mom until my kids had kids and then I would be a babysitter for them. But I was also planning to go shopping this week with our bonus check. Sometimes things don't go the way we planned. I can't mourn what I never really had, right? Things could be worse, and honestly, they may get worse. But, I know it is going to be okay. This is an opportunity to grow and stretch. That is good.

Have a great day! is sunny outside!


amanda said...

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will."
-Jawaharal Nehru

Sending you lots o'strength and the knowledge that the future WILL be better than you could ever imagine!! Stay focused sistah!
a big ol'hug to you,

Anonymous said...

I really think Jake should push things on his bonus check. He earned that money and if nothing else check with someone else that has knowledge of this type letting him go. Labor board or even a lawyer. Even if he had to give a lawyer 1/2 the bonus would be better than nothing at all and the company offering him another job may just be a way of keeping him from going after his bonus. That money is his, he earned it and someone else will be living high on his money. If he doesn't stand up to them then they will continue to do the same year after year to other employees. Please Please check into it a whole lot. Don't write that money off. They are taking that money away from you and your kids and a better life better home ect. Love and prayer for you and your family.

Jake said...

I wrote a response to the above comment on my blog.