You need help with WHAT????

Curtains..... Well, I can't help you there sister. No way. I don't know anything about curtains. That is what I had to tell a client yesterday. Her case worker told her she needed to get some curtains. (not sure why that is so important but...okay). Later I was thinking about the conversation and all the things I have helped with in the past: I've given rides to visit probation officers, helped exterminate cock roaches, sat in a room (behind the curtain) while someone had their cervix checked and I've been to get birth certificates & SS cards. I've helped dress a newborn for the first time - that wasn't mine. I've been to court and stood up for all sorts of colorful people. I've checked for head lice and helped comb nits out of hair. I've explained in detail how to stick a pad to you underwear in the correct position. I've help teen girls tell their mothers they are pregnant. I've had to talk to teen boys about stinky feet among other gross smells. I can tell you where to go to get free food, rent & socks. And, not in this job - but in the past- I have explained puberty and all the workings of the birds & the bees to a room full of sixth grade boys. I can tell you how to save a buck at the grocery store or even how to make marshmallows from scratch. But PLEASE don't go asking me about curtains..... Because I don't have a clue!