Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Our Last Night...

Well, as most of you already know, Jake and I are leaving our current job as houseparents. We have been working as respite houseparents for over three years. After the birth of our daughter we decided it would be best for our family to resign our position and move on to something new. Our decision was an easy one because we feel like we never have time of our own and Jude was starting to pick up different behaviors, slang & attitudes from some of the children we work with. We gave a 60 day notice and it sure has prooved (like everything else we do...I have nicknamed it "the miller way") to be crazy and somewhat chaotic. We were going to rent from Jake's sister, then we were going to buy a house, then we were going to be homeless and now finally we will be renting. Saying all that I wanted to share with you my last day as a houseparent.

It all began when my alarm clock went off at 6:15 A.M. I crawled out of bed when it was still dark out (ughh). I took a shower and got myself presentable for the day. Then I woke up our two respite girls and got them going. Two pigtales, one ponytail and a lot of detangling spray later we were out the door at 7:15 A.M. The girls go to schools that are on opposite ends of the county from each other. I got the girls to school and arrived back home by 8:30. I spent most of my morning straightening things up, packing a little and mostly planning to do stuff. I went to the grocery store, took care of my own kids, cleaned up Jude's messes (he keeps trying to pack stuff - it is cute). The next thing I know it is 2:15 P.M. and it is time for me to go pick up one of the girls from school. I get her and then get lost trying to find my way back to 77N because I need to go to pick up our veggies from Crown Point (we are CSA members). I get to the farm, get our stuff, pick some cherry tomatoes and let Jude chase the chickens a little bit. After all he is a city kid and the farm is kinda like going to a zoo for him. By time I am done with that I have to drive clear across the county again to get our other girl. When I pick her up I have to go in and sign her out...so, I get Jude, Elise & respite girl #1 out of the car and get respite girl #2. I want to go home and cook dinner so I can get #2 back to CFalls to go to an appointment. And I hit rush hour traffic in Monroe Falls. For those of you who aren't from around here, MFalls isn't a big city. In fact, I doubt there are even considered a city at all. But for some reason there is always a huge traffic jam there. So, I ditch the idea of going home to cook. I opt for a nice delicious meal at McDonalds. After that I stop at Sherry's house to get boxes, but because I am early and her hubby expects me to be late (I wonder why) he's not there yet. So I leave, take #2 to her group, then decide to run home because by this point Elise is hungry and I don't have a bottle with me and I don't want to breast feed her in public or in front of a respite child. So, I go all the way back home to feed Elise. Then I ran back to Sherry's and get the boxes (thank you Bill) and back to pick up #2 from her group. I talk to her mom breifly and off we go again. Whew...are you tired yet? Well, I had told the kids I would take them to get hot chocolate at this coffee shop nearby, so we walked down and noticed there was a car show. There was some music and the kids were all (except Elise of course) dancing and having a great time. FINALLY we make it to the coffee shop and get our hot chocolate. We sat down and I noticed there was a guy sitting there with his guitar and microphone. I ask him if he is taking a break or not playing because there was no one there. He said he was waiting for an audience so...I told him we could stay for 2 songs. The kids loved it. As I sat there drinking my cappachino (so I could stay awake) I watched Jude sitting on the couch in the coffee shop, with the two girls. They were all mesmerized by the music (and hot chocolate with way too much whipped cream). I saw them tapping their feet and having such a good time. Not a worry in the world. And I thought, this is it. It is our last day. And I am really going to miss these kids. As much as I can't stand some of them (I know I am not suppposed to feel that way) I really do love them all. I hate that they have messed up lives and so many problems that aren't there fault. I just hope that someday they look back on their time with us as time they were just allowed to be kids and feel loved.

So, after all that, we got home. Elise was crying, Monet was eating tissues out of the trash, Jude puked on the floor, #2 cried for her mom, #1 slammed the door in my face and covered her ears because I caught her in #2's room (which is a no-no) and respite goes on......

Goodnight.

La Cucaracha

# of boxes packed yesterday=22
# of meals I ate=2
# of hours I talked on the phone w. Michelle=2
# of years since I last talked w. Michelle=2
# of boxes I gave to a freecycler for a charity sale=5 or so? A lot.
# of pregnant friends I have=5


As you can see it was a VERY productive day. I threw out trash, gave away stuff and packed my little heart out. I also put laundry away and cleaned the kitchen. I had a spurt of energy, I guess. I still have a long way to go. Hopefully today is going to be another good day. I've decided I would attach and conquer one room at a time. It seems to suit me better than the scattered packing I was trying to do. I need to see results.

I don't really have one particular topic to talk about today...so, I think I will update everyone on previously discussed ones.

Several of you have asked about the rabbits. I know I just left you hanging. I talked to Archie and he said he saught legal counsel and basically he said take the one bunny and wipe your hands clean of the situation. Honestly he had way too many bunnies in the first place. He is going to get his original bunny that his mother gave him. He told me he has to go do a "bunny line-up" to identify which one it is. So, if anyone is looking to adopt a rabbit now is the time. The Humane Society has a bunch.

Many of you have contacted me saying you did check out the new blog. Thank you. Not many of you have taken the survey. I am still looking for results. I did have it set where you have to be a blogger to comment (on accident) but now it is set where anyone can post a comment...even anonomously. Also, what do you think about me posting the letters? Someone told me they feel awkward commenting on something so personal. Do you think it is too personal? Another friend said she automatically thought, "Have I written Delilah a letter before?". I do want to say this...I won't post anything that is extremely personal or that would identify the person w.out their consent. As for the old love letters, I don't have contact with these men anymore and basically they are all the same, just different "initials". I dated overly dramatic men. I think I am going to nix the initial part. Plus it will make it more of a mystery.

I will try to post again late tonight...with possible something more entertaining. In the mean time you can check out Jake's blog. It is called The Launch.

Oh, I almost forgot to explain the title "La Cucaracha". I couldn't think of a good title so I was sitting here and in the backgound I could hear..."La cucaracha, la cucaracha..." It was the Wiggles. Yes, Jude is already up getting his daily fix. I swear there is some sort of subliminal message mesmerizing my son into loving these silly men. The other day I had a real conversation about the Wiggles with him. He said, "mom, I love the wiggles!" Yikes.

Have a Great Day!

Monday, September 26, 2005

4 Days...

Yes I should be packing, I know. I decided not to post the number of boxes I packed today because it was (once again) pathetic. I spent the better part of today avoiding the packing. I woke up, typed a letter for my other blog, packed a few boxes, took a shower, fed the kids, took a nap, went to the grocery store, read my email and all the blogs I keep up with, etc... One big problem I have while packing is that I start digging through old stuff and end up very side tracked. Last night I was digging through this old trunk of old stuff I have collected over the years. I was tossing old junk and I found this business card. I thought it was a strange place for it. I turned it over and it said ******************. Most of you are probably wondering why this buisness card is significant. Well, let me tell you: *************** is the old name for ***********, which is the church I attend. I did not go to the church when it was the ************. In fact when it was called that I didn't attend any church on a regular basis. I spent Saturday evenings at the bar or throwing a party and Sunday mornings hung over (some of you were there, you remember!). I don't remember how or when I acquired the business card but I still have it. I kept it all those years (6 or more). It was the only business card I had in that big trunk of junk. I can only speculate that I may have waited on Pastor Mike back in the day at Joe's Crab Shack or East Side Mario's and maybe he left it for me. Either way I think it is just crazy.

Tomorrow is a big day. It is the beginning of the end. We get our last respite kid. She is only staying until Thursday and she is a real sweet kid. It is a nice way to end our three years as houseparents. It has been fun, crazy, stressful and very entertaining. Hopefully we have made a difference in some of these kids lives.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Oops...the blog name.

http://deardelilah.blogspot.com

Who Am I To Complain?

# of boxes packed today= 5 (but I am planning to do more before bed)
# of Courtney Love/ Hole CD's I own=5
# of meals I've eaten today= 1
# of blogs I now have= 2

This morning this group of singers, called Missions, from World Help came and sang for our church. They go all over the world and help all sorts of people. This one man, forgive me for forgetting his name, talked about going on a trip to India and how he felt after seeing the way other people live and how it made him want to live and be more content. I watched the picture of the people and I listened to his words. I felt so selfish. Then I starting thinking about all sorts of things like my friend, who will remain nameless. She was telling me a story about how she wrote a check and it bounced and it basically snowballed into this huge thing ordeal that is going to cost her a lot of money. She is now about $100+ in the hole. She had enough cash on her to buy some feminine products and she took her last $4 she had and donated it to the Katrina Hurricane Fund. Even when she was down she was thinking about other people. Who am I to complain about any of my circumstances? We all live like kings compared to most of the people in this world. And we complain because we have to pay $3 a gallon for gas (yes, I complain too). Another friend told me about going to Punta Canta? (I think that is the name of the place) and she said the people that live in the country (i.e. out of the city) don't even have gas stations there. Some of the people with vehicles go into town and get gas, in whatever type of container they have and take it home to sell it to the others. Kinda like a makeshift "gas station". Only the gas is in milk jugs and stuff like that! Once, again Who am I to complain?

Anyways, in the middle of church, I started crying. Shocker right? I don't cry very often. I have always been "a strong woman". I don't think Jake knew how to take it. I just felt overwhelming pathetic for ever thinking about myself with all the CRAP that goes on in the world. I have always lived a cushy life. The only problems I have ever had are ones I created myself.

Everyone who knows me does know that I have always been one to stick up for the injustices of the world. People used to tell me "You know Delilah you can't save the world". I always said "That's what you think!" Somewhere over the years I've lost that spark. Maybe some of that came alive in me again today.

Either way, I love this blog stuff if you couldn't tell. I started another blog and it is much different. I was cleaning out my stuff...to pack and came across a huge box of old letters from the last 20 years. I have no idea why I have been keeping them all. I thought it would be fun to post a new one each day. Some are from old friends, boyfriends, guys who wished they were my boyfriend, my mom, etc... I have some good ones. I have always led an interesting life. Read them and you will believe me! The first one is from this boy I used to think was "the one". Ha. Thank God for unanswered prayers! Goodnight.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The End???

# of boxes packed today=3
# of basil plants a freecycler ripped out of my garden by the roots= apx 8-10
# of home party invitations=0
# of cream puffs I ate today=5
# of people interested in taking Monet=22
# of people that were intersted after I sent them his picture=1

I have been thinking about suicide a lot lately. No...not committing suicide, just suicide the topic. It isn't something someone like myself would normally think about (at least that is my theory) but several things have happened recently that have brought the topic up in my mind. Let me explain...First, last March I received a call from a friend from high school. She was calling to tell me that a girl I grew up with and was very close to pretty much into my twenties had committed suicide. Her name was Julie. Julie had lived a difficult life. She had been a victim of sexual abuse for most of her formative years, by her step-father. When she finally had the courage to tell, he went to jail. Isn't that great? Too bad her mother bailed him out & eventually he moved back in with the family. She had other problems, too, some were her own fault, others were just bad circumstances. But lets not dwell on the bad stuff (even though you already know the ending to this story). Julie was a lot of fun. We had so many laughs over the most ridiculous stuff throughout the years. She was very crude and always the most outrageous one in ANY crowd. I always thought she would grow up to be some famous rockstars wife or at least one's lover. Over the years, Julie and I grew apart. I often wondered where she was and how she was doing...if she had recovered from all the messed up years. I assumed she had...the rest of us did, right? But she didn't. I can't imagine what it feels like to be 32 and feel you just can't take it anymore. Obviously she felt she couldn't go on. Isn't that awful?

Today I was driving up Route 8 when I noticed there wasn't any traffic traveling south. Isn't that odd? Saturday at 3PM & there were no cars! As I went over the big bridge in Akron I saw police cars and an ambulance. I assumed it was an accident...WRONG. It was a man trying to jump off the bridge. I swear I made eye contact with him as I drove by. Isn't that something? He hadn't been there long, because the traffic wasn't backed up that much yet. I just can't get the thought the desparate look on his face out of my mind. IS LIFE THAT BAD????? Was he bluffing? Did he just want someone to talk to? Julie wasn't bluffing, she used a gun. Did he really want to do it but was too scared? Is his life so bad or was it just a bad day? Either way, he ended up coming down and was safe. He'll never be able to escape today. It will always be there.

And lastly, the lead singer of INXS killed himself. It's crazy to think that there was a contest to find out who will be the new lead singer of the band (JD). People were trying their hardest to live the life that one man hated so much that he killed himself. Isn't life something else.

Goodnight.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Today...

# of Boxes Packed Today=23
# of Babysitters at my house this evening=3
# of Children at my house this evening=3
# of invitations received to at home parties=0
# of Blogs I read on a daily basis=4 (and growing)
# of Shots my baby had to get today=4!!!

Okay today was crazy. I don't really have time to write. It is almost midnight and I am really ready for bed. Poor Jackie was at my house FOREVER today. She was a big help. Christina brought Shona over and Jackie watched Elise, Jude, Shona & her own daughter, Elizabeth. They all played together well. But with that many kids it is always NUTS! I needed her there just to hold down the fort, even if I didn't get all that much packing done. Either way, I am making a dent in all the work and I am happy about that!

Okay, Goodnight.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Eight Days

# of Days Until We Move= 8
Total # of Boxes Packed Today=1
# of Invitations I received today to home parties=2

Today wasn't all that exciting. I feel like I have been working non-stop but I can't get anything done. Tommarow I have Jackie coming over to watch the kids. I hope to accomplish so much.

I wanted to talk about something other than rabbits. Afterall, I didn't want this to be a Rabbit Blog...and when we move I'd have nothing to talk about. But, I wanted to keep everyone up to date on the bunny situation. Today Archie left me a note asking me to help him get his bunnies back. It seems the Humane Society is bullying him. First they told him he could have the rabbits back if he cleans the cages and pays the vet expenses. He cleaned everything. He was working on it nonstop. It looks and smells much better. He called them and they wouldn't return his calls. Finally after 3 calls he gets to talk to the person "in charge" of his case. The person says he has 2 choices...(1)he can take one bunny and pay to have it fixed and be off the hook or (2)He can go to court, face charges but have a chance of getting all the rabbits back. They told him if it goes to court it would probably be in the newspaper because the conditions were so bad. Let me tell you...the cages did need cleaned but they weren't as bad as these people are making it sound. And they are bullying him. I will be the first to tell you the man is very wierd (in every way) but, as most of you know, I have always been out to help the underdog. He isn't all there and he doesn't really understand. He is very embarassed and is afraid of everyone finding out. They are using it against him.

By the way...I watched Criminal Minds tonight and it is pretty good. It was a little odd to see Greg (from Dharma & Greg) working for the FBI.

Also, keep up with the comments. You don't have to be a member now...I fixed it.

Have a Great Evening.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Praying for the Rabbits...

Did I say there would never be a dull moment??? Well, let me tell you what happened in my life today. If you read the previous post you will know the story concerning the rabbits. Well, last night Archie was cleaning out all the cages and the rabbit tent. I guess he had rabbits in this old van in the back yard, too. So that was part of his project. This morning I saw Archie and he looked pretty upset so I went out and spoke to him. He said the Humane Society said if he cleans up the place and they approve it then he can have the bunnies back. He also said he has to take them to the vet to have them checked out. He is trying hard to get them back. He said the rabbits are his family. Isn't that sad. Well, just as I started to walk away Archie said "Will you pray for my rabbits?" Of course I said I would pray for the situation. As soon as those words left my mouth, Archie grabbed my hand and started praying a LOOOONNNNGGGG prayer for the safe return of his rabbits. I can't make this stuff up folks. I want the best outcome for all this & I do think Archie means well BUT....................What in the World???? Holding hands with Archie and praying to "Sweet Jesus" about the rabbits is something you can't really imagine happening to you unless it does. Now, let me tell you all, don't be mistaken, I am a Christian and I really believe in the power of prayer. It just seemed a little odd. Those of you that have met Archie and heard all the other stories will understand. Either way...In closing, I would like all of you to take a moment and say a prayer for Archie, who I doubt will get the bunnies back.

By the way Thanks for reading my blog. Make sure you tell everyone about it. Bookmark it. Read it often.

Love you all!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Rabbits

Okay, so those of you that talk to me on a regular basis know about my neighbor and his rabbits. For the others, I will fill you in with the short version... My neighbor, Archie, started out with 3 rabbits last summer. Over the year, as you may imagine, the rabbit population has, well, let's say, blossumed. I am not sure how many he has but it is close to 100. He is constantly giving rabbits away, selling rabbits and playing with the rabbits. He does things like walk around with bunnies in his shirt. I will be standing in the kitchen washing dishes and he will walk up and put a bunny in the window! He put up this big white tent right next to our sidewalk that he calls "the rabbit tent". He has cages, junk & an old car in the tent. If you don't know...we live in the city. The lots are small and the houses are close. The rabbits smell.
So, the reason for the rabbit story...today the rabbit tent was raided. The Akron Humane Society came and took the bunnies. They had badges, uniforms, cages and cameras. It was crazy. When Archie came home I tried to explain to him what had happened. I don't think he understands. He thinks if he cleans the cages he will get them back. Kinda crazy. If I can figure out how to add pics I will attach some I have taken of the bunnies and rabbit tent.
That's it for today. I am off to pack......

My First Blog

Well, here I am posting my first blog. I got the idea from my brother in law (aka applehead). So, where do I begin. Life is crazy. We are moving on Oct. 1 & until about 5 hours ago we didn't know where we were going to be living! We were going to move to Jake's sister's duplex in a not so great neighborhood. After actually paying rent for the last two months (to hold the apartment) we decided to buy a house...and almost did but that didn't work out for us. We started to run out of time so now we are renting a house in Stow, Ohio! It is a great place & we are happy. Jude will be happy because it is very close to his favorite park. Because of all the sudden changes (also starting a new - well, kinda new - job on Oct. 3) we have to get rid of our dog, Monet. I've never really been fond of the dog (due to the huge amount of work he creates for me) but I have to admit I am sad. I think my second cousin in Indiana is going to take him but I am not positive on that yet. If is all works out we will probably have to take him half way (about 2 hours) and meet her to give her the dog. Jude is going to be upset and he will miss him. Maybe the house by the park will make up for it...who knows. Either way, we have exactly 11 days to pack everything , take the dog to Indiana, finish refinishing the table, drive to Medina to pick up a deep freeze, drive to Bath to pick up our awesome $5000 (yes it is worth $5000 but we paid much less) couch & loveseat, find a babysitter for 1 hour a day and work! Sounds like FUN. That is The Miller Way....