# of boxes packed today=3
# of basil plants a freecycler ripped out of my garden by the roots= apx 8-10
# of home party invitations=0
# of cream puffs I ate today=5
# of people interested in taking Monet=22
# of people that were intersted after I sent them his picture=1
I have been thinking about suicide a lot lately. No...not committing suicide, just suicide the topic. It isn't something someone like myself would normally think about (at least that is my theory) but several things have happened recently that have brought the topic up in my mind. Let me explain...First, last March I received a call from a friend from high school. She was calling to tell me that a girl I grew up with and was very close to pretty much into my twenties had committed suicide. Her name was Julie. Julie had lived a difficult life. She had been a victim of sexual abuse for most of her formative years, by her step-father. When she finally had the courage to tell, he went to jail. Isn't that great? Too bad her mother bailed him out & eventually he moved back in with the family. She had other problems, too, some were her own fault, others were just bad circumstances. But lets not dwell on the bad stuff (even though you already know the ending to this story). Julie was a lot of fun. We had so many laughs over the most ridiculous stuff throughout the years. She was very crude and always the most outrageous one in ANY crowd. I always thought she would grow up to be some famous rockstars wife or at least one's lover. Over the years, Julie and I grew apart. I often wondered where she was and how she was doing...if she had recovered from all the messed up years. I assumed she had...the rest of us did, right? But she didn't. I can't imagine what it feels like to be 32 and feel you just can't take it anymore. Obviously she felt she couldn't go on. Isn't that awful?
Today I was driving up Route 8 when I noticed there wasn't any traffic traveling south. Isn't that odd? Saturday at 3PM & there were no cars! As I went over the big bridge in Akron I saw police cars and an ambulance. I assumed it was an accident...WRONG. It was a man trying to jump off the bridge. I swear I made eye contact with him as I drove by. Isn't that something? He hadn't been there long, because the traffic wasn't backed up that much yet. I just can't get the thought the desparate look on his face out of my mind. IS LIFE THAT BAD????? Was he bluffing? Did he just want someone to talk to? Julie wasn't bluffing, she used a gun. Did he really want to do it but was too scared? Is his life so bad or was it just a bad day? Either way, he ended up coming down and was safe. He'll never be able to escape today. It will always be there.
And lastly, the lead singer of INXS killed himself. It's crazy to think that there was a contest to find out who will be the new lead singer of the band (JD). People were trying their hardest to live the life that one man hated so much that he killed himself. Isn't life something else.
Goodnight.
2 comments:
I understand kinda how you feel. When I was in my early to mid twenties I had to deal with some hard realities when it came to suicide. First was with my now ex-wife. It did bother me to hear about that guy who wanted to jump off the rt8 bridge. My ex was famous for the Y Bridge. She had issues that she didn’t want to deal with at least in the proper way. And to this day I still can’t figure out how she came to the conclusion that it would be better to end her life. I really don’t think they (those that want to end their lives) understand how selfish the act actually is. It leaves the rest of us wondering what we could of done to help or where we went wrong. She never did follow through all the way though she came close a couple of times either by bridge or drugs. Maybe I will start my own blog and get more into the details but for now let’s just leave it at she is doing much better. I still wonder to this day though what if……what if she had what would my life be like right now.
Well I just saw what time it is and better get off this thing and get ready for church. God Bless
Dave-
wow.. I was wondering why I had a hard time getting to tallmadge ave. I wonder how he is feeling today. Isn't it sad that people can get to the point of such extreme feelings. Why is it that as a society that knows so much about mental health that depression is still such a taboo that people don't seek out other's to talk about thier feelings. My little brother was hospitalized this weekend for depression. He did talk about it and actually asked to go to be evaluated. I am greatful that he realized that he was over his head. We all get there sometimes. It makes my heart hurt..
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