Sunday, October 07, 2007

So, It Happened Today....

I've been waiting for years for something like this to happen. It took a long time but it finally did. Today I walked into Church and there he was - a guy from my past. We were only friends but I will admit I had a little crush on him. He had a serious girlfriend and I didn't really want him to break up with her - but I didn't want things to change between us. I thought he was going to be my friend forever. We worked together. We went dancing together. We talked on the phone for hours. Our friendship was completely platonic but everyone noticed how we clicked. I had just broke up with Jarhead and I was having some real self esteem issues so it was nice to have a NICE guy pay attention to me and not have to live up to any of his expectations because I was just a friend. Even though my family lived an hour away, they met him. My friends all knew him. He was around quite a bit. He even brought his girlfriend (who I did like a lot, although I will admit I was very jealous of) around some. Too bad things changed. It was the millennium New Year. I was scheduled to work but this girl I worked with called and asked me if she could take my shift because she wanted the extra money. I was excited because there were several parties I wanted to attend. That day I went out and bought the cutest party dress EVER. It was black with sparkles. The top was off the shoulder - simple but beautiful. I even bought shoes to match. So that evening my friends Tiffany, Megan and I got all prettied up and headed off to the first party. I agreed to be the designated driver. The first party was a my friend JR's parents house. I think they were out of town and he decided to have a big party. BTW...he was a police officer and most of his friends were either police officers or firemen. I drank gatorade and didn't mind. I was having fun. As the time went on we decided we wanted to leave that party and get to this other party before midnight. We loaded up and got there just before the clock struck twelve. The party was at a house I had never been to before - but was a friend of a friends house and most of my work buddies were there - including the guy and his girlfriend. I decided I would have one small drink to toast with but that was it. I remember things being blurry by midnight. I don't know if there was something in the drink from that party or in the Gatorade from the police party but I had one drink the entire night and I was drunk. Embarrassingly drunk. At that time in my life I enjoyed drinking but I wasn't into getting drunk and making a fool of myself. I drank enough to be funny and goofy but not sloppy. Well....this particular night, after that one drink, I was sloppy. What I am about to tell you I only remember like it was a dream. But I had been upstairs going to the bathroom. When I came down the stairs I saw the girlfriend. She looked at me with the sweetest, most innocent smile - she is quite angelic. I said "I am so glad to see you because I have been wanted to tell you that I am in love with your boyfriend." I remember the shock and hurt on her face. I don't remember what she said and I don't remember saying anything else to her. I don't remember much of anything else except waking up in my bed the next morning with my party dress and shoes still on. If I could erase just one day from my life - that day would definitely be in my top three. As you can imagine, things were different after that night. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I wrote the guy a letter explaining that I wasn't in love with him and how I completely respected his relationship with his girlfriend. After that we weren't friends. I ran into her once and we talked but not about that night...more small talk. After Jake and I got married I ran into the guy a couple of times. We chatted - he married the girlfriend. I asked them over for dinner but he declined. I understood. So today was baby dedication day at our church. He is related to a baby in the church and was there to watch. He waved and smiled. Later I walked by and he said "you have three?" - talking about kids. I shook my head. His wife talked to Jake and I for a moment but that was it. Today my worlds collided and it wasn't that bad. Oh, and BTW....this is a very humiliating story for me so don't tell anyone okay???

In the mean time check out these kitchen sinks.

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