I know, I know...it is supposed to be Ex-Men Monday. Here is the problem. On Monday's I never feel like writing about ex-men. I am changing it to Ex-Men Tuesday. I hope you all don't mind. It's just that on Saturday I have a theme going on. Then Sunday's I usually write about church or I don't have time to write at all. So when Monday gets here I feel like writing other stuff. So that is that...
So, I have a friend who told me she doesn't want more than a few friends because friends complicate things. Nothing but trouble. Now, let me start by saying I love all my friends. I feel like each one of them are in my life for a reason. But man, isn't it complicated. I told you about the girl who thought I was mad at her a few weeks ago. That isn't even the tip of the iceberg. Lately I have been feeling stressed about the whole thing. First lets start with my old friend JenF. I have talked about her a couple of times. She is my on again off again friend. In college she was one of my best friends. We have some very funny stories that range from being chased by goats to me throwing a penny at her ex-boyfriends head. We had some good times but we have had some VERY BAD times. I don't think I have ever argued with anyone else as much as her. And it is always so dramatic. This time we haven't talked since October. I told her not to call me or email me ever again. The truth is, I was really mad at her stupid fiance (that I introduced her too) and not her. She hasn't tried to call me and I haven't called her. We are both stubborn. Her birthday was two weeks ago. She turned 30. I heard some of her friends were getting together and went out for the occasion. I was invited. I didn't go. For a lot of reasons. Now I feel a little guilty. I was with her on her 21st and many in between. Now I missed the big one. So, that is just one of my complications. My sister is friends with her. And that is where I am going with this... I have a handful of friends. We aren't really like a "gang" of friends. I am friends with each of them separately. Some of them know each other. Some know of the other person but never talked to them. Some have only talked in passing. Some are getting to know each other better. Some don't care to get to know the others. Most of us have had crappy experiences in the past with "girlfriends". But I do believe we all need each other. I guess I just haven't figured out how to make it all fit. Is any of this making sense? I don't want to say too much because women are sensitive. Just tell me if you understand what I am talking about and tell me what you think.
6 comments:
I keep forgetting to tell you- I saw Audrey H. at K-mart one night. She looked EXACTLY the same and had a little bot, about 6 or 7 with her. It wasn't Trent b/c he is only 6 mo younger than Caitlyn! Did you know about this?
Not a bot, but a BOY
So, do you still want JenF as a friend, or are you just accepting the situation as it is? You're right about women, they are too sensitive and dramatic. Sometimes all the drama just isn't worth it.
Over the years, I have found it important to have women friends. Some friends have been mainly "work" friends; others I don't see or talk with in years and years, but when I do, it's just like old times. Some I keep in pretty regular touch with. There's only one I get into trouble with (misunderstandings), but it seems to be different cultural expectations since she's from another country. It's important to be able to talk about deep things as well as to just have fun together. Do you feel that this is a friendship that would be valuable to carry over into adult life? Do you really care for her?
Aunt Nancy
As a guy I know how important it
is to have friends so I am assuming it is the same with women. I do know what it is to be burned or forgotten about by male friends.
I don't know how I feel about the whole JenF thing. To be honest with you I never expected her to listen to me (the whole don't call me or email me thing) in the first place. She has never listened to anything else I ever told her to do! Ha. Either way, I know when we run into each other again this whole thing will probably be over but who knows when that will happen. AND...I really don't like her fiance. I introduced them but he is a real idiot. Probably as long as she is with him, we will never have a consistant friendship. He is always causing problems. He's basically so insecure with himself that he's pretty much an ass most of the time. That sounds harsh but I couldn't really think of an honest, yet, "nice" way to put it.
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