State of the Union....

Well, Tom wasn't on tonight because President Bush had his State of the Union address. I tried to watch his speech. I want to be supportive of the President of the United States but I just can't get that excited over him. I don't think he could say anything that would impress me. But I am not posting to talk politics. But I do want to take a moment to laugh about the people in the crowd. Cindy Sheehan (the mom whose son was killed in Iraq that has went over the deep end a little with her protesting - she thinks she is some sort of Abbie Hoffman - not even close!) was invited by someone? to the SU Address. Well, whe gets in there and had to be removed before the thing even started because she was waving some flag! Did she think she was at a peace rally or something? Come on! She is currently being detained. I was watching Fox, then CBS, now NBC...it is funny to see their different camera focus'. It is funny. Fox had a close up of John McCain (I don't even remember what Pres. Bush said) but the man looked like he either had to go to the bathroom very bad or maybe he was having a stroke. It was up there with that yelling, wrestlemania act he put on that ruined his chances for the Democratic Candidate. Oh my.

Okay, I changed my mind...I have a few comments about this stuff.
The Environmental stuff (alternative resources).....Love it. Can't wait for it to happen, if it ever does. I will have a french fry oil car one day.
No Child Left Behind....it is crap. Math and Science is good if the kids can read. I have classes THIS WEEK where over HALF the kids can not read! They are in middle school!
Drug use is down???? I don't believe it. I see it every day. Has he ever been in a real school and talked to real kids? The kids I talk to don't even think Marijuana is a drug! That is probably why the drug use is down....kids say they have never tried them because Pot don't count! Or maybe they couldn't read the test and just filled in a circle. Or maybe they don't give those tests to the kids that can't read, sit still, behave long enough to take a test. Just theories...
The pregnancy rate is down because of the shot that many teen girls get as soon as they start their periods. I see it all the time. He didn't mention that STD's are more rampant than ever.

I know it sounds so bitter and negative but I think politicains are out of touch. That is just my opinion.

On a lighter note...Hillary looked great and that lady in the front row with the hot pink dress should have dressed in some other color!

Jarhead (Ex-men Monday Part 3)

This is a long story. I know my last two posts have been quite lengthy. I hope you don't mind. What I am about to tell you is a very REAL story that actually did happen in my life. You are going to think it is something out of the movies. So, grab a cup of coffee, prop up your feet and enjoy be entertained by my crazy past....

I have mentioned during high school I dated Mitch. I told you his real name before I came up with the idea to conceal identities. I probably won't talk about Mitch more than what I have already told you because....well, I guess it is just much to personal. Either way, I digress... While dating Mitch we worked at the Haunted School House in Vermilion. It was fun. (Note to self...never let my kids work there!) Mitch and his dad had worked there for years. While working there I got to know Jarhead. He was Mitch's friend. Jarhead was actually my age (Mitch was almost 4 years older). My junior year Jarhead was in one of my classes. We became friends. We would talk all the time. I would tell him my Mitch troubles and he would tell me things Mitch was doing behind my back. When Mitch and I broke up Jarhead and I remained friends. We started hanging out together. I knew he liked me all along but pretended Ididn't know. One time I was reading my old journals and I even talked about how I really liked him and thought I should be dating him instead of Mitch. Well, time went by and Jarhead started dating this other girl. She always hated me. She thought I was some sort of huge threat. A year after graduation he and the girl broke up so he started calling me again. He joined the Marines. A day or so before he left he called me asked me on a date. I said yes. I was really excited because I had always liked him so much. He picked me up and we went to the movies to see "The Last of the Mohicans". During the movie we were talking and he somehow we started talking about gays in the military. He called them fags. I made him take me home...right then, in the middle of the movie. I couldn't believe somone could be so mean. He left for the military and we didn't talk. I ran into his sister about a year later and she told me Jarhead had reunited with his old high school sweetheart and they got married. I was a little sad but not that sad. Well, years go by...I started thinking about him. I had this dream...I was at this pizza shop and I saw him. I ran up to him and told him I was so sorry for being immature...and explained he was my one true love (gag now). I tried to look him up, not to break up his marriage. I was not into that kind of stuff. We had been friends, I was sure his wife would be over her jealously issues, after all, she was married to him. Well, I didn't find him. Oh well. After my sisters wedding I was walking around with Rick (a friend) and there was Jarhead and his lovely wife. We chatted small talk. He was out of the military and living a happy little life. I smiled. Rick asked who he was....I said Oh just an old friend from high school.

Another year or so goes by...Melanie and I go to the bar on Chirstmas (see previous post). I ran into this guy and he asks me out (sound familiar???). I gave him my number. A week later Jarhead called. He explains that he and his wife were going through a divorce and how horrible she is blah blah blah.... I should have let that be our only conversation. It wasn't long before Jarhead and I were a serious couple. Months go by....I start to think he was lying to me about all sorts of stuff. Everyone thought I was crazy. He was such a nice guy, why would he lie about anything. Just to give you an idea. One time we were at Screwy Louies (a bar in Kent), I went to the bathroom and he went to buy us drinks. As I walked out of the bathroom, I saw him totally hitting on this girl. Arm around her and everything. I let him talk his way out of it. I don't know why.

In the mean time my friend started dating his room-mate. It made for a big (BIG) mess. Jarhead had become friends with my friends and family. We broke up and got back together a couple of times. My friend knew all kinds of stuff he was doing but never told me. I guess she was afraid her boyfriend (or whatever he was to her...she had another serious boyfriend back at college) would get mad. Or maybe she just didn't want to break my heart. I don't know. I have always wondered. Well, Jarhead and I were back together and things were going slow...but well. I was happy not to have the intesity. He lived in Vermilion and I was in Peninsula. It was nice. Well, on the 4th of July, Melanie was having a "apartment" warming party. Jarhead was going to the islands (Middle Bass Island in Lake Erie). I didn't want to go because he was going with a bunch of his buddies and I wanted to go to Melanie's party anyways. We agreed he would come to Peninsula the next day and that was fine with me. So the next day he comes down and he tells me this story about meeting this girl I know from college. My old room-mate. Sam. We laughed about what a small world it is. Ha ha ha, right? Well, after he left, his friend, Lucas (another old friend from H.S.) called to talk to Tiffany. I said, I have a crazy story about what happened to Jarhead. He said..."Oh I heard what happened..." It was something about the tone of his voice that I thought...hmmmm. So after T. finished on the phone I called Sam. She lived in Pittsburg at the time. I said Hello. She started laughing and said, "Oh my, I am such a slut." I was like what did you do? She said, "I met your FRIEND last night...I was so drunk....I don't even know what he looks like...is he cute????" I just sat there sinking in my seat. "Did you sleep with him?" "Yes." I didn't tell her he was my boyfriend. Why would I? She was pathetic enough. I asked her how in the world they figured out they both knew me. She said afterwords they were talking and she asked him where he was from...he said Vermilion. She said, "Oh my God...Do you know Delilah??". Wouldn't you love to see the look on his face at that moment? Priceless. I called him and of course he denied it. Needless to say we never dated again. He still talks about me to girls he dates (yes they tell me after he does similar things to them). He says I am a crazy girl. So a year or so later, he was dating this girl and somehow she ended up being a sub for one of the classes I was teaching in (again, small world). She kept pressing me for why we broke up. I just told her he was a nice guy we just didn't work out. I told her we had a fight over his trip to the islands. I didn't even go into the details. She started crying. I was like....what is going on, why are you crying over a fight I had with him? She said, "I was dating him then."

Cody, Justiene and How it All Fits Together (Part 2)

This one Saturday afternoon I was walking out of the apartment building and Dave stops me to talk. I don't think anything about it but I noticed he was being friendly. I told him I was on my way to the video store. He said he had a movie I could borrow. It was G.I. Jane. I thought, well, it wouldn't be my first pick but it is free and I needed to save any money I could. I agreed. He said, "Good, maybe we could watch it together." Trapped. I said that would be fine but he would have to come to my apartment (my terms) and no smoking at my place. That evening, Cody was at his mom's (very rare) and Dave came over. I have always had male friends so I was just going with the flow. We talked about Cody, Cody's mom, other sister and brother, Dave's failed marriage to Chris (the mom). It sounds serious but it was all really small talk. We started watching the movie. He says "oh, the guy in this movie has my name." I am thinking, "Dave is a pretty common name." He said, "my real name is Royce!" R....."His first name starts with a R!" I was a little freaked out. Before he left that night he tried to put the moves on me. That is really one of the only times he showed an interest in anything like that. Over the next few months I started taking care of Cody. I would take him to school, on vacation with me, to the library, zoo, roller skating, the art museum, church, the dentist, the doctor, etc... I even had to take him to work with me once because there was a snow day and both of his parents were no where to be found. When he was sick, I took care of him. When his teacher sent home notes, I called and talked to her. When his class was having a party or assembly, I was there helping. I was his mother. By Thanksgiving, Dave had pretty much "staked claim" to me. I loved being Cody's mother and would have tried to have some sort of relationship with Dave but it was impossible. He was very controlling and a liar. One day I was sitting at work thinking about how my Psychic friend had known I was going to meet this man with the R name. Then I remembered what else she had told me. So, that evening I asked Dave if his divorce was final with Chris. He said it had been for years. The next day, I went down to the public records office and found out, he was not divorced from Chris and he had been married once before. He told me he had only been married once. When I told him what I found out, he said I was crazy (yes, that is what these men do, turn it around to be your fault) and I obviously had issues if I was looking him up. Oh, I also found out he was really 46 not 42. I had never done anything like that before but went with my hunch. It paid off. I introduced Dave to all of my friends. They all thought I was nuts. I was. By Christmas, I defined our relationship to him, as this: I love Cody and will do anything I can for him but you and I are NOTHING. You obviously can't give what I need and you could care less anyhow so why does it matter. I started dating someone the first week of the new year. Every time he came to pick me up or came over, Dave either called 100x's, sent Cody upstairs to my apartment or came out and caused some sort of problem. It was embarassing. I ended things with Ken by Valentine's day. Dave NEVER made an effort to date me, he just wanted all other men to stay away. In the mean time, I met a really nice guy and because I was afraid Dave would mess it up I missed out. Then Jake came along. I kept putting him off because I didn't think he would possibly deal with the Jerry Springer world I was living in. But, we all know how that ended up. When I met Jake, it drove Dave nuts. A month before I actually went out with Jake I told Dave I was going to start dating someone. He called me a whore...in front of Cody. The next time we were eating dinner with my parents Cody announced that his dad thought I was a whore. Nice. When I did start dating Jake, I was sneaking around to do it. I wouldn't let him pick me up. I would call him while I was at my pottery class or only talk to him at work. Dave went crazy when he found out. He begged, cried, screamed, etc... I told him I would still be part of Cody's life. I would have taken custody and raised him as my own. So would have Jake. After dating Jake for one month I moved. Dave was going to great lengths to try to win me over. I picked up Cody one evening and Dave was all messed up. He had been drinking and told me he took a bunch of pills. His words were all slurred and everything. I take Cody to my apartment and go into the bathroom to call the paramedics. When they got there he refused treatment. Every time I talked to Dave he created some situation to try to anger me or hurt me. He said he was dating someone new that he was going to church with (I tried to get him to go with me all the time but he wouldn't). Then he told me he got arrested for having sex in the back of his van. Then he would say I couldn't see Cody if Jake was around... It went on and on and on. Dave moved into a hotel and pretty much it went down hill fast from there. My visits with Cody were getting to be fewer and fewer. Dave was using him as some sort of pawn in his little game. He couldn't handle seeing me pregnant. I would call and call. Each time I talked to Cody he didn't even know I had been calling and his dad was telling him I had forgotten all about him. Then he would say, he lost my number. I called Children's Services. They didn't do a single thing. The last time I saw Cody, Jude was about 6 months old. I have a picture of Cody holding Jude. I miss Cody very much. He was my little boy. I don't miss his father. I don't miss that whole messed up situation. I think about Cody every single day. It makes me really sad to think he thinks I don't love him and I just forgot about him. His grandma did talk to me but then she got mad at me too. It guess she believed Dave's lies because she thought I just abandon him as well. She doesn't know all the junk Dave was doing.

Let me tell you, this is the watered down version of the story. I don't think you need all the gorrey details...but I want to say this. Justiene is in a very similar situation. It is strange that she found me after I went through the same thing. Crazy, I guess. So, read her blog and help boost her confidence. Give her some good advice. I don't know, but maybe it will help.

Have a good day.

Cody, Justiene and How it All Fits Together (Part 1)

Have you read Justiene's blog? When I first met Justiene a couple of years ago we never really talked. I taught Sunday School to two of the 3 kids she takes care of for her boyfriend. She would bring them to church every Sunday. At first I thought they were her kids, although she looked young. But, when I was in my late 20's I looked pretty young (yes, I know, it finally caught up). It wasn't long before the girls talked enough that I knew she wasn't their mother but their dad's girlfriend. They call her Pooh. Who did you come with? Pooh. Is she your mom? Well, no, uh yes, well kinda. I understood. Once her boyfriend came to church. Just as I suspected, not good enough for her. It wasn't just his looks - it is his everything. Not very classy or respectable. I, again, understood. Last year, Jake started going to the College & Career Sunday School class and Justiene was in there. He told me Justiene had said she was breaking up with her boyfriend and moving out. That Sunday the Pastor preached a sermon about how we are all put here for God's Purpose and how we are supposed to get to know one another and if you have been through something that is similar to what another person is going through you should talk to them about it. I felt like he was talking to me! Well, that Sunday she left right away and I didn't get to see her. She didn't come back to church for like 2 months. I tried to call her. The number didn't work. I tried to call some other people that might know her (some relatives that had attended the church). No help. Finally, Jake emailed her and that is how we got to where we are today. Either way, I have been thinking a lot about her situation and how to help. I feel a little frustrated because she keeps going back and forth (read her blog) and she keeps thinking it isn't so bad. He isn't beating her so it isn't that bad. Well, I have been there and it is horrible. No, I haven't dated Ted, but he isn't that original. I was involved is a situation that was so similar it is scary.

It was all about Cody. Tiffany, Amanda and I had rented this very cool house in Peninsula. Amanda moved out and Tiffany and I stayed an extra year. During the year, Tiffany got her first real boyfriend and I was working like a crazy girl (3 jobs 80 hours a week). I was working at Joe's Crab Shack, which I always refer to as my "Last hurrah". Tiffany and I really never got along that well as room-mates. She was always getting on my nerves, as I am sure I got on her nerves. So, we decided to get our own apartments. She moved to Timber Top and I rented this little one bedroom apartment in Cuyahoga Falls on Sackett. It was cute and cozy. I liked living alone. It wasn't long before I met the neighbors. There was only 4 apartments in the building. I lived in #4. #3 was Joe and this really cute girl, whose name I can't remember. He drove an old Volvo and worked at Borders. She was going to school to be a doctor. #2 was Tom. He was as weird as you can get. He was divorced and had his kids, Kenny & Lisa on the week-ends. #1 was Dave and Cody. Cody was the cutest 6 year old you have ever met. It wasn't long before Cody was knocking on my door talking to me. I had quit Joe's and with that quit going to bars and clubs, which meant I no longer had anything in common with my friends. I had dated (briefly) Tiffany's boyfriend's brother and I didn't really want to hang out with them because he was always there. I spent a lot of time at home. Which meant I spent a lot of time with Cody. He would come over all the time. I didn't mind at all.

I have this friend that is a psychic. Don't ask. But I went to her and she told me I was going to meet this guy. "His name starts with a 'R'. He is not "the one" but he has a little boy who I am supposed to help. Be careful, 'R' is married, probably separated but the wife is still in the picture somewhere." At this time I had already met Dave and didn't think anything about it - the description didn't fit. Oh, I forgot to mention Dave was 42, I was 27. That is just gross.

Tomorrow I and going to continue this story and tell you what happened. It will all make sense then...

Music Part 2

Here is a list of my favorite older songs. I own all these CD's. Tell me your favorite older music.


1. Dancing Queen by ABBA
"Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen"

2. Creque Alley by The Mamas & Papas
"When Cass was a Sophomore, planned to go to Swarthmore, But she changed her mind one day Standing on the turnpike, thumb out to hitchhike, Take her to New York right away"

3. Me & Bobby Magee by Janis Joplin
"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, Nothing don’t mean nothing honey if it ain’t free, now now. And feeling good was easy, lord, when he sang the blues, You know feeling good was good enough for me, Good enough for me and my bobby mcgee."

4. Lonely People by America (or Jars of Clay)
"This is for all the lonely people thinking that life has passed them by Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup And ride that highway in the sky This is for all the single people thinking that life has left them dry don't give up until you drink from the silver cup you never know until you try"

5. Come Together by The Beatles
"He say I know you, you know me One thing I can tell you is you got to be free Come together right now over me"

6. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da by The Beatles
"Obladi oblada life goes on bra Lala how the life goes on Obladi oblada life goes on bra Lala how the life goes on."

7. Thank You by Led Zepplin
"if the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, There will still be you and me."

8. Crazy by Patsy Cline
"Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonelyI'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blueI knew you'd love me as long as you wanted"

9. Moondance by Van Morrison
"Well, it’s a marvelous night for a moondance ith the stars up above in your eyes fantabulous night to make romance 'neath the cover of october skies"

10. Wild World by Cat Stevens
"If you want to leave, take good care Hope you find a lot of nice things to wear Then a lot of nice things turn bad out there Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world It's hard to get by, just upon a smile Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world I'll always remember you Like a child, girl"

Don't forget to post your favorite older music. Any style music is welcome. Have a good day!!!!!

Housekeeping...

I feel like I need to do a little "cleaning up" today. No, not at my house. We did that yesterday because I have a friend coming over today. But, I have some loose subjects I want to tidy up. If you are a new reader and care what I am talking about you will have to go back and read the old stuff. Here are my "what happeneds".

• The landlord is getting the work done. I think I told you the step was fixed a couple of days later but now she has this guy, John, coming in to do all sorts of stuff. Fixing trim, laying linoleum, setting nails, all sorts of stuff. It is starting to look so much better. Jude loves John. He calls him his friend. When he is there, Jude gets his tools and helps him.
• Jake has a really good job lead. If you read his blog a while back and he was talking about me getting a job that would require me traveling with "the crazy guy". Well, if Jake gets this Job he will be "the crazy guy's" assistant. It pays well, good hours, little travel time, good benefits. We are excited. We'll have to find a babysitter. That is going to really stink. And I think it is going to be very hard for me to do. I am not that trusting. So far, going to work has been easy because I know the kids have been in good hands (mostly just Jake's) . But we will probably have to find someone we don't know. A stranger. Isn't that scary. The job starts April 3rd.
• My group at the Stow Youth Diversion program went really well this time. I had the middle school group. They were really good. It was mostly boys (one girl, poor thing). They really opened up to me...told me about drinking and some drug use. These are kids from a upper middle class town (a generalization, I know), a good school district and most of them played sports. And they have tried drugs. MIDDLE SCHOOL. Yes, I am going to homeschool my children. It is so scary out there.
• We have been half heartedly looking for a house. We found one in Cuyahoga Falls that seems really nice, actually quite perfect for us. We can't buy it now for several reasons (one being we are in a lease). Hopefully it will still be on the market when we get ready to buy.
• My cat is fine and recovered from the trauma. She'll probably get in the drawer again if we leave it open. Which I did, only because Elise was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up.
• My school is going much better this week. It is still in Akron but 100x's better.
• I have added some new links to my page. Jacki is a girl from church. She has a thoughtful and interesting blog. Correction G is my cousin, Jason. He doesn't use punctuation that much but it is definitely worth your time to read. He writes about his jobs as a Correction Officer & Security at a "club". He is funny.
• I never got around to posting a comment to Pho...it is still formulating. I've been busy.

I think that is it. If you have any questions let me know. I am having some sort of seasonal affective writers block (similar to some other bloggers). I have lots of old stories to tell. Do you guys like that stuff? You don't seem to comment on it as much (i.e. old b-friends, letters, etc...). But then again, I have found the best topics for your comments were about gagging, barfing, the Millers and my husband becoming a preacher. Hmmmmm.

I Love Tom Cavanagh Part 2!!!!

I know, I know... my husband is writing these very deep, thought provoking posts and I am just talking about Tom Cavanagh. I meant to tell everyone to watch Love Monkey tonight. It is so awesome. If you didn't watch it tonight, watch it next week. If you love music it is for you.

"That Girl" listed her top 5 songs. #4 was Just Like Heaven by Cure. It is definately one of my favs and was on every compilation I ever made.

Just Like Heaven

"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it and I promise you
I promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?"
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream...
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
Alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

Where is the Cat?

When Elise woke up from her nap today I went in to get her from the crib. I noticed the drawer on the bottom of the crib was open so I closed it with my foot. About an hour later I heard the cat meowing. I thought she had ran into the basement again. I thought....hmmmm...how did she get in the basement. A few minutes pass and Jake goes in the bedroom. He hears the cat. Her cries are coming from the crib???? He opened the drawer and she jumped out. Nice.

A Little Wisdom from Mother Teresa

"Be kind and merciful,
Let no one every come to you without leaving better and happier.
Be a living expression of God’s kindness.
Kindness in your face,
Kindness in your eyes,
Kindness in your smile,
Kindness in your warm greeting."


Can you imagine the world if we were all a little more like Mother Teresa. Even if you aren't a Christian (I have attracted a few readers from "the other side") you can believe in making the world a better place. People fight over abortion, prayers (or Intelligent Design) in school, the war, the president, etc.... but then they don't do one thing in their daily lives to show someone else TRUE kindness. I don't have anyone in particular in mind so don't think I am talking to you. But, I am taking a stand and from now on I am going to be a kinder person. I want to be an expression of God's loving kindness, not God's wrath. Don't you? Okay I am going to give you a Bible verse to ponder. If you don't know me and are just reading this blog randomly, please do no think I am some Religious Freak. I am not.

"But avoid foolish controversies and genalogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless...." Titus 3:9 NIV

And for those King James readers...it says the same, basically.

"But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vainly."


Okay, I have to get going for now.

Feeling Melancholy????

According to a new study today is the most depressing day of the year. It has to do with the weather, post holiday let down (i.e. bills), disappointment over failed resolutions and more. I have to tell you. I could really use some sunshine and fresh air. I am sick of the gloom.

Phat Cat

Remember it is Ex-men Monday.

Mr. Cello dumped me in June and we had a series of break-ups that eventually ended with the "big"one he described, that was mid-July. By time it was the end I was so drained and emotionally beaten, I had to move on, fast... So I dated pretty soon after. Fortunately I had a few suitors who were just waiting to "console" me. I only went out with them until I thought they really liked me and then I dumped them. I started hanging out with an ex-boyfriend (who I will certainly post about some other Monday), who was in a band. He was the lead singer. Through him I met Phat Cat. He was a Drummer. Not for the lead singer's band but in another - he just hung out. He and I became friends. When I went to Kent, in the Fall, he moved to Massillon to live with his grandparents and go to Kent Stark campus. One day I was sitting in my dorm, bored out of my mind and he calls. He was downstairs. Over time he became my buddy. You know, the guy who hangs out with the girl and the girl tells him all her "secrets" and too much detail about the relationships she has. This is the guy the girl confesses to about how mean she is to the other guys, dumps them for things like being nice to her and treating her respectfully. Yes Phat Cat was that guy. He would come to visit me every Tuesday. We would have so much fun. We would order pizza and sit in the common area of the dorm. He would play me this Beatles song on the piano (In My Life). We went ice skating, ate Chinese food, checked out some local bands, talked about life and love. He met a girl he was crazy about. She was cute. He brought her to meet me once. My roommates dog licked her face and she broke out with red rashy hives. Her name is Lauren. I wouldn't doubt if she is famous now. She was going to school for theater. I think that was actually my second year at Kent. He would write me letters, as well. Long letters. I loved getting them. So, this goes on for a few years. I moved to Peninsula with Amanda and Tiffany. Man, we had some great parties. Parties with 100 people. Phat Cat loyally came to every "event" we planned. Those parties were the best. We would have name tags, themes, compilation tapes (background music), food, jello shots, kegs...... A lot of you were there. But we also had "bonfires". They were spur of the moment and usually involved our closest peeps. So, Phat Cat was hanging out at one of the bonfires. He told me he needed to talk to me before either of us had anything to drink. I thought he was going to tell me his mom was sick or something. He was very serious. So we walk over by the garage (next to the garbage cans). He says, "I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since we met and I can do this anymore." Uhhhhhhhh..... I was really blind sided. I had NO IDEA. Now looking back it all makes sense, I was always naive about stuff like that. Everyone else knew but me. I can't remember all the details surrounding our brief "dating" relationship. I was all messed up. He was my boyfriend for a while but I wouldn't tell anyone. It wasn't long before he was the guy I had all sorts of stuff to say about. We never really did break up. I think he just came to the understanding that I wasn't into dating anyone exclusively. I believed something about a caged bird. Silly now, I know. But he and I did remain friends. He joined the military and was stationed in Hawaii, where he met Ivan's brother (another crazy thing). I called him when Jake and I got engaged. He told me he was sad because he always thought he would end up with me. We emailed every now and then. Then he got out of the Navy. He called and we talked. It was after I had Jude and I can't remember what he said to me but I thought whatever it was, wasn't really an appropriate thing to say to Delilah Miller....maybe Delilah Wright but not Delilah Miller. That was the last time I talked to him. I did hear he is this deep thinking "philosopher" of sorts that hangs out in Oberlin. I assume he still plays the drums. He was good. The band he played in for like 5 years is actually kind of famous now, but he is not the drummer anymore. I think they got a new one when he joined the military. Anyways, that is Phat Cat in a nutshell. Not a big tragic romance yet, what I would consider, a significant part of my past.

Fluff...

Another blogger made a random list of songs. I am not sure if they were good songs or his favorites or what. Either way, here is my list of songs. I am also giving you an added bonus of a quote from the song. These are 10 of my all time favorite songs, although the complete list is much, much longer.

1. Wait by Huffamoose
"Hold me looser still, throw me like I'm wet clay."

2. You Can't Always Get What You Want by Rolling Stones
"You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you might findYou get what you need"

3. Always on My Mind by Willie Nelson
"Tell me, Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died,Give me, Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied,I'll keep you satisfied."

4. Happy Phantom by Tori Amos
"And if I died today I'll be the happy phantom and I'll go chasing the nuns out in the yard and I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on."

5. Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley
"But kiss me out of desire, babe, not consolation Oh, you know it makes me so angry 'Cause I know that in time, I'll only make you cry this is our last goodbye"

6. Vertigo by U2
"Girl with crimson nails Has Jesus 'round the neck Swinging to the music Swinging to the music Woooao"

7. Wonderwall by Oasis
"There are many things I'd like to say to you but I don't know how Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me."

8. Get Me Outta Here by Jet
"I'm sacking the man cause the man is a thief I'm kicking the plan before the plan kicks me I'm gonna get me Get me out of here"

9. To Have & To Hold by Depeche Mode
"I need to be cleansed, It's time to make amends, For all of the fun The damage is done And I feel diseased I'm down on my knees And I need forgiveness"

10. Unknown Road by Pennywise
"Do you think that all the years that passed you by we're all well spent"

So now I want everyone to tell me their favorite song or quote from a song. I know you all have one. I want some comments. Seriously. You don't even have to sign in or anything. Just post a comment. Don't be shy (T.C. I'm talking to you!). I know you guys are reading my blog (Jason G....yes, my spies have told me) and others. It isn't that fun for me to write if you guys aren't commenting.

Insomnia, Again.....

I have been awake since 4:38 A.M. Wide awake. I finally decided to get out of bed around 5:30 A.M. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Pics of the Kids...

Look how cute my two babies are..... Jude got inside this car seat cover all by himself and Elise was trying to get him.
Elise with messy hair. She just woke up when I took this.
Elise, her pile of toys and her favorite toy...Molly.

These were taken this week.

Sychronicities...

"Synchronicities are people, places or events that your soul attracts into your life - to help you evolve or to place emphasis on something going on in your life. The more 'consciously aware' you become of how your soul creates - the higher your frequency goes and the faster your soul manifests. Each day your life will become filled with meaningful coincidences - synchronicities - that you have attracted - or created in the grid of your experiences in the physical."


What you just read came from a very "metaphysical" type web-site so please do not prescribe to the philosophy just yet. Let me explain. I do believe in synchronicities but I don't think it has to do with karma or wheels of time (also explained on the web-site). I do, however, think that God "talks" to us through these little coincidences. We all know he puts people in our lives for a reason and nothing is really that random. Well, I have been experiencing an extremely abnormal amount of this phenomenon in my life. It is really crazy. I think it may be the cause of my insomnia (or maybe it really is the coffee...). Either way, I have always had these odd occurrences but this week I have had 2 pretty big ones. Here they are...

First, Jake meets this guy at work. His first day he came home and told me about this guy. After meeting him for a few times I told Jake I felt like he was in our life for a reason...Not sure why but I didn't think it was just some random thing. He has spent some time with us. Not a lot , just work with Jake and he's had dinner a few times. Nothing big. He just moved to the area and his family lives about an hour away. Well, to make a long story a little less long (many of you have already heard this...) this new couple started at our church. I noticed them on the first day and have wanted to talk to them. I almost felt "drawn" to them. After a few weeks, we just realized Jake's friend and the guy from church are brothers..... It blew my mind.

Then today I went into work for a "debriefing" from the week. I met the new intern. She seems very nice and we talk a bit. She tells me she is a Sociology/ Criminal Justice major at Akron U. I was thinking, hmmm, I know someone with that major so I told her I have a friend who just graduated with that degree. She asked me her name. I am thinking, "Big school, Big department, she won't know her." I say, Justiene. She knows her. She used to work with her and went to school with her. Then we are talking and she tells me she works at the University in the financial aid department. I ask her if that is part of admissions. She says not really. Same building...not the same department. I tell her I know someone in Admissions. I say, "I know it is a big place but you won't know this girl." She says (before I tell her) Jackie? HOW DID SHE KNOW? I asked her how she knew that is what I was going to say and she said she didn't know she just had a feeling. Whoa. Just crazy. Twenty minutes and we are aleady connected.

I am sure most of you think I am nuts but I am not. There is something to this. I've never been wrong about it. There are a few people who I know were meant to be in my life. Has this ever happened to you? Well, it has but have you ever paid attention? Are you listening?

I don't know if I will write tomorrow. Applehead and the family are coming up to visit. So I will talk to you later.

Appetizers

I am going to this thing tonight and need an appetizer. I want to take something easy and tasty but unique. Any suggestions? It seems like anytime I made a "standard" there ends up being more than one of it there.

Thank God It's Thursday...

That is because I don't work on Fridays. Today was my last day and the awful school I have been this week. Today was just awful. I ended up leaving the school before the day was over. During 6th period the class was so out of control that I left in the middle of class. They were running around, yelling and acting crazy. When I left the class there was 18 minutes left in the period...The had not settled down yet. I am pretty strict when teaching. I have high expectations but I have NEVER had a problem. This one girl wanted to beat me up...she even said so. I wasn't afraid just annoyed because she was prohibiting the rest of the class from learning. I was so happy to leave but I mostly felt defeated. It was great to get home a little early and have been doing a lot of organizing. It has been nice.

Well, I am watching "The Office" and I want to close with this quote...."Hey, does it smell like updog in here?

Chat Tomorow.

dm

I'm Having Fun...

I just read Pho's blog and his post today is a response to a comment I wrote concerning a previous post about teaching Creation in schools (he is against it). His response is very well researched, although (as always) I will have more to say on the topic so read his stuff and look for a response from me later. I have other writing to do tonight (yes, I do write other things besides my blog...) so I don't know when I will get to it. See ya.

Is ANYONE Paying Attention?

That is the phrase of the week. I mentioned to you that I am back in the inner city this week. I am going CRAZY. It started with the first class of the day. Here is how it went...The class comes in they are running around, hitting each other, talking very loud, throwing stuff, etc... The bell rings. I begin to talk. A kid walks in late. I wait until they say all their hellos and finish with their disruption. Then two more kids come in late. This goes on for 10 minutes! The teacher doesn't say a word. No verbal warnings, No detentions, Nothing. I guess kids at this school don't have to follow the rules. So, everyone is finally in their seats. Two boys are discussing the latests shoes in the Eastbay catalog. I ask him to put it away. He says, "No I am just looking." I tell him it isn't a choice, he needs to pay attention, if he doesn't put it away I will take it from him." He refuses so I take it from him. He freaks out. I thought he was going to punch me. He was thinking about it. He runs his mouth for a moment or two then realizes his friends think he is being a jerk so he settles down. Today we were talking about Parenting. We talk about what it takes to be a parent. I put a video in and they actually did a great job paying attention. After the movie, I say, "So, what did you think?" This kid says, "I think it was SHI*". In front of the teacher and everyone else. No punishment. So that class leaves and in comes my sixth graders. They are louder than the others (and wilder). Ten minutes after the bell rings and a HUGE lecture about respect and acting your age (from me....not the teacher) they sit and we begin class. Today was Anatomy & Puberty day for the 6th graders. Well, you can imagine how that went. I started off by telling them we were going to use PROPER terms in the class. No slang. My first question was, "What is puberty?" This kid raises his hand (doesn't wait for me to call on him) and says, "When you get hair on your Balls." (I hope no one is offended by this, I just want you to get a real life feel for these kids) The kid started laughing and wouldn't stop. This went on for like 5 minutes. I told him he had to go to the hall. He stood by the door laughing very loud. I told him he needed to stop or he would have a consequence. He laughed. I sent him to the principal's office. I have NEVER done something like that but I could not even talk because he was doing this loud fake laugh. So, I tell the kids, I am there to teach them something valuable and if they weren't interested in listening I would leave and spend my time doing something more meaningful. They started to listen. We talk about the diffent changes that occur during puberty. They made it through the "sex talk", errections and even wet dreams but when they had to say the proper term for breasts.... They couldn't handle it. Every boy in the class started yelling out all these slang terms for Breasts. Now, if you were a fly on the wall, this would have been hysterical (watermelons, jugs, boobies, ti**ies, MILK SPOUTS-with hand motions) but I didn't even crack a smile. They never pulled it back together because before I could get them settled down, the principal sent the other kid back because she didn't have time to deal with him...it was picture day and she had to have her picture made. Do you realize this was only my second class. I had three more to go. None of the other ones ever went any better. After I basically yelled at them and told them I cared about them and I thought they really needed to hear what I had to say, but if they couldn't show a little respect...I'd leave, then they would listen. Either way, I will be so happy to go to a different school next week.

I Love Tom Cavanagh!!!

So, I just watched this new T.V. show called "Love Monkey". Tom Cavanagh is the lead character. I LOVE him. He used to be "Ed". I loved Ed and was so sad when the show was cancelled. He played this lovesick fool that pined over the same girl forever but just never quite got it right. Until the final show of course. There is this girl named Julia on the new show . He described her as "sublime". I always wanted to be THAT girl. The show has great music and I can't wait until next week. This is only an 8 week trial so watch it and it won't get cancelled.

On anther note, a girl in my class today told me she heard there was a "National Pot Day" where everyone can smoke pot and not get arrested. Hmmmmm. Reason #324 that I will homeschool my children. I've given Jake my 2 year notice.

Short Post, I know, but I've had serious insomnia (for several days now) and I think I am finally tired.

I Dated A Cello...

You probably weren't expecting me to talk about an ex-boyfriend after that last post, were you? Well, my blog is funny like that. I kind of get an idea in my head about what I want to blog about...then life happens and that stuff is usually just more interesting than the other stuff. So, I used to think someday I would write a book. I think I have lots of good "chick lit" material. Seriously, crazy stuff has happened to me. I thought I could title it "To All the Boys I Loved Before" (yes I see Jake and Applehead rolling their eyes right now!). Each Chapter Title would be the name of some boy I dated or liked. There were actually a significant few, I adored from afar but never had the guts to let them know. Guys who I was friends with and who I KNEW liked me but I had no confidence. I know that is hard to believe because you all know I am very full of myself now. Ha ha ha ha. Not really, I just fake it really well. Either way, back to my book...I don't think I will write a book because I know what will happen. The book will become famously popular and one of the guys would want to seek revenge for the heartbreak I caused and he'd write a counter book telling my public stuff that no one needs to know. So there goes my book. But my blog, although gaining popularity, will probably not fall into the hands of any of my ex-loves. So I think I am going to designate Mondays to talk about these men from my past. I won't give their real names. I will use an alias or given nick-name. Not pet names (yuck!). I discussed this with my husband and he is, of course, okay with it...other wise you wouldn't be reading it right now.

I didn't really date a cello but I dated a cellist. But to be honest, I dated him because he played the cello, so essentailly, I dated a cello. I remember the first time I saw him. I was at LCCC and he was walking across campus with this cello on his back. I was sitting with in "the lounge" with some friends and they said they knew him. I knew I had to meet him. A cellist? I was already in love. Just a little background info. I have always had a thing for musicians, although most of them are really wierd. Well, it wasn't long before Mr. Cello and I were a hot couple. No one could believe it. He was NOTHING like me. For starters, he was a member of MENSA. You have to have some super high IQ to get into that group. He thought on a different level. He was very introverted. To an extreme. But he loved his cello. He'd practice until his fingers bled. It was his obsession. The more he obsessed, the more I liked him. We spent our time together watching orchestras and "high art" music. I learned the differnce between Baroque and Classical. He also played in rock band. A cello in a rock band (oh man, I LOVED that cello). He never talked. Well, he talked to me but he wouldn't say anything to anyone else. I bet there are a few people reading this blog right now who remember him and remember being around him but never heard him talk. And if he did talk you couldn't understand exactly what he was talking about because he was so intelligent that he was socially inept. He has some mental issues and I am a fixer. I wanted to fix him and help him. It was draining. We dated for a year. He proposed to me on Christmas, in front of his family. I said yes, not because I wanted to marry him but because I didn't want to end it with him. I was 21. On New Year's Eve we got into the worst argument because I talked to his friends and he didn't like that. (Hello, do you know me? I talk to everyone!?) Things went downhill fast. We did have fun. He wrote me a song and recorded it with him playing the cello and guitar. I just threw it away when we moved last October. And, no, I didn't listen to it.

Well, my sister came home from college in May or June. She was dating Ivan (who she has been married to 8 years). Mr. Cello accused me of being in love with Ivan. Yes, take a moment to laugh...it is ridiculous. We had a series of break ups that finally ended with him breaking up with me and telling me I was too social for him. He said he wanted a girlfriend who didn't have friends or talk to other people. He was serious. He broke my heart. No one understood what I saw in him. I can't really explain it. He tried to get me back for a long time. It was hard because we had planned to go to Kent together and we lived in the same dorm, three floors from each other. He would leave me crazy letters (see deardelilah.blogspot.com, letters from D.S.). I lost touch with him when I moved from Peninsula to Cuyahoga Falls. So, he tried for 6 or 7 years to get me back. Wow.

Either way, are you wondering why I picked Mr. Cello first? He is not the most interesting story. But today, we took Jude to see The Incredibles on Ice and I ran into Mr. Cello's best friend. He was with his wife and kids. I haven't run into any of that crowd for about 8-9 years. They said that Mr. Cello is living in Akron. Yes...that is what I said. He isn't from this area so I was a little suprised. He has never dated anyone since me. He is getting his Masters and TEACHES undergrad Math. I know, I can't imagine. I have a box of pictures of this man I have been carrying around with me, hoping to someday send them to his mother. She moved. I think I will send them to him...no return address of course. He asked me for them once, while we were in college, but I said No.

It took me a LONG time to even listen to cello music after the break up. I had a very hard time differentiating the two. I finally got over it. I even bought a Yo Yo Ma CD. I do love the cello. It is my favorite. I can say that now.

Sunday Evening Reflection...

It has been a while since I have blogged about anything "spiritual" and I thought everyone could use a good dose of my reflections from todays message and other stuff going on in my life. I feel like I need to give everyone a little background information. Sometime after I started my blog a good friend of mine said "I never knew you were so religious." I was kinda suprised by the comment because I do not consider myself "religious" but I am, indeed, a Christian and I do go to church. I've been thinking about it for a while and I guess I just want to talk about the issue. I have made reference before to the things I have done in the past but today I am going to talk very frankly about it. Another reader mentioned she was concerned I say to much or "confess" to much on my blog. She fears it may come back to haunt me. I don't worry about that stuff and I feel like I am just being honest and real. It feels good to say, hey, this is who I was and now I have grown to be this person. I have forgiven myself. God has forgiven me. And honestly, all those past experiences have made me who I am and quite frankly I think I am a good person. So with that being said....here we go.

The quick version of my spiritual walk...I was in second grade. I was standing in line, in the library, waiting to go back to my classroom. My friend, Karen Horniek, was telling me how Jesus lived in her heart. I asked her how that could happen. She said you just have to pray and ask him to come live there and he will. So, I closed my eyes and prayed to God to forgive my sins and come into my heart. I didn't really fully understand but I knew that is what I wanted. We went to church off and on while I was growing up. Then in the sixth grade I met Stephanie. She was my best friend and her mom started taking me to church every Sunday. I loved every minute of it. In High School, while other kids were going to parties, I would go to church. Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night, Thursday night Bible study, Saturday (Softball or Volleyball). Now, I am going to be honest, Church was a big social club for me. I did learn a lot of stuff but I also was very hurt and even a little scarred by events at the church. That is where I met by long time boyfriend, Mitch. I have mentioned him before. Mitch pretty much defined my teen years. Mitch was older and best friends with Brad. Brad was a few years older than Mitch and newly married. Brad was our Youth Leader. One time Brad, his wife, Mitch and I went on a double date. It think I was probably 17 at the time. We went to Brad's house and he put in a PORN movie. Yes, I watched a Porn movie with John Holmes in it, with my Youth Leader. Did I say SCARRED? No I didnt' like it and No I didn't get addicted to porn but I learned that Christians weren't the same people in church as they are in the privacy of thier own homes. Well, Mitch and I broke up later and some other back stabbing stuff went on (from adults not my peers) so I quit going to church. I wasn't Anti-church. I still believed in God. I just choose to put Him on the backburner of my life. During the next 7-8 years of my life I looked everywhere for answers. Self-Help Books, Counselors, Psychics, Alcohol, Men, College... I did miss church and often made New Year's Resolutions to go to church more often. After I turned 25 I started dabbling in church. I would take a class. I even taught a class with my friend on Wednesday nights to little kids but I wouldn't go on Sunday. I would go to a church but NEVER talk to anyone. My best friend was "agnostic" and cynical. She didn't understand. So when I got to my current church I was a little gun shy to say the least. I would have rather gone to a bar to make friends. But I knew that isn't what God wanted for me. So now hear I am, I think I have grown so much in the past 3 years. I felt for a long time that I had to be reserved about my Spirituality because, well, I thought I was being a fraud. I thought there it couldn't be real that the girl that has been so drunk that she wakes up in the morning and doesn't even know where her car is, could possibly be forgiven or loved by God. So there's the truth. I am a Christian and I love my life. I think it is only getting better and God is to thank for it. Does that mean I am some weird freak person who is judgemental or unforgiving? NO. Does that mean I think I am perfect? NO. Do I think I am better than someone who isn't a Christian? NO. Does that mean I can't have fun? NO. I still make mistakes and I am still growing and learning. Learning how to be a better person. I didn't have one big life changing moment where the clouds opened up and rays of light beamed down, while the angels sang to let me know God is with me. I just believe. That's it. I am not your typical Christian. I am a Democrat. Conservative Democrat. You might not agree with me and that is okay. I love going to Church, I don't think twice about it. On Sunday, I am there. I rarely miss because I think everything I learn is useful in my daily life. I have made friends and finally have a sense of community. It is better than you think. But that is that...my long winded response.

Tag...You're It.

One day I was searching other blogs. I tried my name, my maiden name, Vermilion, names of some old friends, etc... I really didn't find anything interesting. Then I typed in Akron. I just wanted to see if anyone had a blog about Akron. That is where I found Pho. He is a political blogger. I enjoy politics, especially anything local...hence, my WNIR fascination. So, I have been reading Pho's blog when I get a chance. A couple of days ago he had a post about "Intelegient Design" in public schools. I left a comment (of course). I noticed he listed my blog on his blog (Thank you Pho) and now he did this tag thing and tagged me. I guess it is some blogger game. Either way, here it is.

1. go to your archive
2. find the 23rd post
3. find the 5th sentence
4. post the text of the sentence in a blog entry along with these instructions
5. tag 5 other people


My sentence is something so typical of me...

Can you you believe that?

Here is who I am tagging.

Toys R Us Kid(s)
isunshine
Applehead
Cousin Kelly
Justiene

I was thinking that several of you don't have a 23rd post yet so I guess you can do your first post instead. Everyone will be checking your blog so do it soon. Don't tag me back. I won't do it again.

I plan to have a real post today sometime so check back.

dm

Searching for....My Blog!

Okay, I don't really have time to type a real post but I wanted to share something with you. I have this thing on my blog where I can see how many people visit my site and it tells information like where the people are etc... Well, it has this cool thing where you can see how people were referred to your blog. Most of mine are listed as "unknown" because most of you go directly to my blog from your bookmarks or you just type it in. If someone were to come across my profile and then decide they wanted to read my blog it I could click on the referral thing and it will take me to my profile. Well, with all that said...I have noticed in the past few days there have been at least one or two per day of referrals that come from Google searches for Crystal Meth Recipes. A while back I wrote a big post about Meth and now these tweekers are looking on my blog for a recipe. Isn't that something. One day someone was referred through a search for Howie Chizak. Isn't that funny. I just thought the irony was funny.

Have a good night. I will post tommorow.

delilah

Late Afternoon Blogging...

Hello. Excuse me for a moment while I step up on my soapbox. I hope everyone is ready for a little "serious" blogging. If you don't know it already, I am an abstinence teacher. I teach a national abstinence only program in local middle schools. This week I happen to be at a very interesting school. I won't mention the name but I will tell you a little about it. It is in a pretty wealthy community. There is quite a mix of kids. The racial ratio is similar to national averages. There are kids from other nationalities and different religious backgrounds. It really doesn't effect how I teach abstinence because I don't teach it as a moral issue but a HEALTH issue. So, I go to this school on Monday and my first period class goes very well. I can tell there are a few sexually active girls in the class. It is funny, middle school girls fail to recognize I AM a girl and I do understand the universal "eye contact" language that girls use to talk with out saying words verbally. All you men know exactly what language I am talking about. I try to use it on Jake but he never understands. But that is another topic for another day... So these girls are all but telling me I have my work cut out for me. I love a challenge...bring it on. So second period rolls around and this girl, Alex, comes in and asks who I am. I tell her I am there to teach RSVP. She says, "Great...I had this last year at my old school. My mom doesn't even want me to be in this class." I tell her if her mother doesn't want her to participate that would be fine she just needs to fill out the form stating that and bring it in. She explains that is doesn't matter anyways. She says, "Oh, it won't matter if she fills out the paper, they make you stand for the pledge of allegence even if you don't believe in God!". O.K. Here is my challenge. Hmmmm. I say, "Well, this isn't about God (although it can be) but it is about health. That is why I am in your health class." She says, "Well, you could just tell kids to use a condom." Oh My...here we go. I tell her it is obvious she has been given misinformation and I think she is going to learn a lot from my class. Oh, the humor and the sadness. So the class starts and we are talking about abstinence from drugs, alcohol, tobacco and sex. I tell the class there is only one 100% effective form of birth control for teens. Of course, they all knew I meant abstience (middle schoolers are smarter than you think). Well, Alex raises her hand to disagree and says "What about abortion, that would be 100 % effective. I am speechless. Not for long...you know me. Well, let me expain something to you. I have my opinions about abortion. I don't plan on discussing the legal or moral issues involved. In a classroom I am very careful what I say and don't say...you have to be. I mean you can't even say Christmas I am sure I'd be in trouble for going down the abortion road. So, I tell her, "Well, Alex, when I say birth control I mean...is there any way to prevent a pregnancy from happening. An abortion happens after fertilization occurs which means the woman would indeed be pregnant. Yes, abortion is one legal way to end a pregnancy but you have to think of the consequences of an abortion. It costs money, you have to let your parents know, there can be serious health consequencs and you may have regret or guilt afterwords." Now she is speechless. She didn't argue anymore that day. So, yesterday we are talking about our goals. Each kid has to tell me 2 goals they have for their future. I get to Alex, she says, "I am NEVER getting married." That is a strange goal. Almost an Anti-goal. Okay... Some other kids said they'd like to have a nice car. She announces, "Oh Great, with your monster SUV, polluting the air and sucking down all our gas." Where is this coming from. Yes...SUV's are gas gusslers and we have all heard all kinds of stuff about them but this girl in in 7th grade and very opinionated. Today she came in with a huge chip on her shoulder. I gave her an assignment where she has to talk to her mom about dating and get her dating rules. She said her mom won't do it. I told her she would have to have her mom write a letter explaining why not if she wanted to get her points for the homework. I suspect she won't do either. Either way...my point of all this is not about abstinence, abortion or SUV's but about the influence you have on your children. Kids are a product of their environment. Do you have any habits or behaviors you are ashamed of? Well, rest assure, your children are going to school and mimicing them. Do you think your kids don't listen to your opinion about drugs, religion, sexuality, etc... You are wrong. I am not saying shove it down their throats...that is almost worse than saying nothing at all. You have to be open and honest (well, it isn't necessary to be THAT honest). And when it comes to things like sexuality don't just rely on the info you got back in Hight School Health class...get up to date. Things have changed. Condoms aren't as effective as they were when we were growing up because there are newer and stronger STD's. Some are from skin to skin contact. Not all are curable and most have devistating consequences (can lead to cancer and sterility). Studies have shown kids who feel loved and security from their parent(s) are more likely to be abstinent from drugs, alcohol and sex. As for Alex, I have one more day with her. I feel like she is so anti-establishment and anti-God that she might have sex just to proove she isn't religious. Isn't that sad. Hopefully, something I am saying will sink in. I know, if nothing else, she will remember the information.

If you want more information on STD's go to this web-site. It has all the gorey details.

Well, it is time for me to step down and go get Elise who just woke up from her nap. Have a good one.

Jake's Deep Thought...

Jake wrote this a while ago... I thought I would share it. Some of you may have read it before.


The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. Thedisciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it:"Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me.These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Mark 10:14-15 (The Message)

I am certain we are all somewhat familiar with the above verse. I know I have heard and read it several times during the course of my life as a Christian. But what does it really mean? I thought I had an idea of what it meant and I did to a certain extent. You need tobe like a child to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Be like a child? How does one accomplish such a feat? As we were growing up I'm sure at one point or another we were told that we were acting like a child(sometimes Delilah says I still act like a child) ;-). When we were told this it was usually because we were having a temper tantrum for some reason or another. Some of us have children the rest of us don't. For those of us that have children, have you just sat and watched them play by themselves? I have watched Jude from afar (well not really from that far away, he is in the sun room and I am in the living room) as so not to bother him. I have sneaked into his room when he is suppose to be taking anap but instead he his playing in his bed, singing to himself, reading a book (he really can't read, that I know of), playing with his matchbox cars, etc. It is an amazing thing to watch a child at play. For the rest of us that don't have children I encourage you to visit ahouse that has children and just watch them play by themselves, I am sure you will understand what I'm trying to get at here. They play without a worry in the world, carefree. It is just their toys and them.We have all at one point asked God to speak to us. I have been doing a lot of this lately. Last night at our church, we had a praise andworship concert. I took Jude with me because he loves music and his baby sitter is a lead singer in the band. When the music started to play Jude was dancing around and clapping his hands, before I knew ithe was in the aisle having a grand ole time. At one point I lookedover at Jude dancing in the aisle and he had his hands lifted up to to God praising him. I thought it was kind of odd that he was doing that because our Sunday morning worship is not even close to raising our hands. There was a gentleman and a women sitting across the aisle from me. The gentleman had his hands raised in praise. Jude was mimicking what the gentleman was doing. At this point the above verse became so much clearer to me and it took God using Jude to clarify itf or me. After last night I believe as Christians we ought to praise God without a care in the world. Like a child at play. We shouldn't be concerned with what others might think about us praising God.

Jake

My Baby Girl...

started crawling yesterday. She had been attempting to crawl for the last week or so and yesterday she just took off. I am in trouble. She is a very determined little girl. So I needed to get Jude to bed and read him a book. I put Elise in the crib so she could play and not get away. When I walked into her room, she was standing in the crib, holding on to the side. I hadn't lowered the mattress...why should I??? She is still a little baby. And two milestones on ONE DAY? Well, I did lower the mattress but I did leave the bumper in the crib. She likes to sleep up against it. I think it is warm and she feels secure.

I don't blog much about Elise because she is really the best baby ever. She sleeps through the night, barely cries, plays, is on a schedule, eats with no problems and is just a great baby. She is really a daddy's girl. It is cute. She says Da Da. She can blow kisses but this week-end I tried and tried to get her to do it and she never did...little booger. Jude is still like that...never wants to perform for me. Aren't kids funny.

Well, Elise is really small for her age. She is healthy just small. It is hard for me to accept her growing up because she is so small. She is too little to be crawling and trying to stand up. AND...she is still just a baby. She is only 7 1/2 months old. I think I am in trouble.

Have a great day.

The Thirteenth Day of Christmas...WARNING do not read while eating!

Yes, this is the blog you have been waiting for... We spent the weekend in West Virginia with the Millers. We were in Tennessee on the 25th and then we had celebrated with my sister's family on New Year's Day. This week-end was reserved for the Miller family. It was a little wierd having "Christmas" 13 days after the actual Holiday passed but nice. It was great to have the extra 2 weeks to prepare and everyone seemed less stressed. I also did a little shopping after Christmas, which saved a bundle.

Pretty much the week-end went of without a hitch. We got there on Friday. All the kids were so excited to be together. Saturday morning we got up and enjoyed a delicious breakfast of Flathead & Gingerbread Pancakes. Then we opened the gifts. I think everyone liked thier gifts. We got Paul a large print Bible. I typed up a letter in a 28 pt. font explaining we could get him the Giant print if he needed it. We got Tim a new Indians baseball hat to replace the one he has been wearing around since High School...it was really worn out and gross. We gave him a garbage bag as well. After the gifts we had to run to town for Lydia's birthday cake. It was Jake, Tim, Eric and me. We stopped by and did a little geocaching. It was a fairly easy one but with the three guys we had to go the "short cut" you know...as the crow flies... I ended up sliding down this embankment, on my butt, and almost ended up in the creek. Nice. We went home, ate a fabulous meal, then off to geocache again. We did a mile and half hike. It was uphill half way and down hill the other half. Either way, I got my work out. We got back with just enough time to do Lydia's birthday cake and gifts. We had to get the kids ready for bed because we were all planning to go to church the next morning.

So, Sunday morning we decided to pack our stuff up and just take it to church with us so we wouldn't have to drive back to the property. Tim had already left for church because he plays the drums in the worship band. Steph and the kids were going to ride with Paul and Linda so, Ashely and Miles rode with us. Eric had already went back to Ohio, he had to work today. Well, right before I got in the van I thought...man, nothing crazy happened this week-end. I took a few snap shots of all the mud and considered calling this post Mud and talking about how everything is so stinking muddy down there. Well, the church the Miller clan attends is very far away. It takes about 45 minutes to get to. We got in the van and we were listening to my Kenny Chesney Greatest Hits CD. Ashely and Miles like Kenny. They have some of his CD's. I was suprised they were singing along. Well, Paul decided to go the back roads. He thought it was funny that I might get car sick. Real funny. The kids ended up falling asleep during the long ride. We ended up driving on the highway for most of the trip. We get off at our exit and take a couple of turns and the kids are starting to stir. I hear Miles cough, then Ashely says, "Miles just threw up." I'm thinking....this can't be happening. I hear another heave, then another and another. Jake immediately rolls down the windows. Ashley says "It's in the cup holder, like last time." I looked at Jake and say, "I guess I have something to blog about now." I really did think that...I have a serious blogging problem. We got to the church seriously, one minute later. I told Jude not to look back and got him out of the car so fast. Jake got out of the van, took one look at Miles and threw up...right there in the church parking lot. Miles finally got out of the van. He still had chewed up eggs hanging off his face. This time it didn't all land in the cup holder...it was all over him. He walked over to Paul, who took one look at him and ran away gagging. Linda went inside to get some stuff to clean up the breakfast barf. Miles changed and we all went in while Linda cleaned up the mess. She also threw up (or dry heaved) out in the parking lot. Jake said the when he smelled bacon, he just lost it.

I know it is hard to believe this could really happen but it did. Nothing is EVER normal with this family. I am ashamed that I even thought about doubting they would deliver a fantastic story for everyone to read.

Have a great day! Don't eat eggs and bacon anytime soon. Think of my blog as your "New Year's Diet Plan". Read it and you won't feel like eating.

You Down With O.P.B (Other People's Blogs)????

It seems everyone has a blog these days. Before one of my classes yesterday, one of my students came up to me and told me she has 3 blogs. One for poetry, one for photography and the other for just 13 year old stuff. If you ever go to the blogspot homepage they show you who has made recent updates and there is a list called "Blogs of Note". The people who run Blogspot read through and pick Blogs that they feel are worthy of this title. I have been watching them to see exactly what they are looking for...I haven't found anything all that exciting. Seriously. There are people who are professional bloggers. Yes, their job is to sit around, write in their blog, read other people's blogs and tell other people about other people's blogs. Isn't that something. There was one blog called Bored Housewife. I DON'T recommend it. It is pretty much porn. This mother of twins writes about her college classes and posts pictures of her cleaveage. She is an idiot. Either way, she was a Blog of Note for several weeks. WHY? My blog is much better. I just can't believe there are people who get paid for this. I want a job like that. There are professional Geocachers as well. How fun is that?

I really have a ton of stuff to do. I still haven't wrapped gifts. I didn't finish Nolan's gift so I had to make a last minute trip to Target. I was so tired last night. I got up early to get stuff done but you can see I am procrastinating by writing a blog about nothing. I don't know if I will have a chance to post Saturday...I will be in West Virginia. I think they have the water problem fixed. They have told me they haven't had any water problems since our last visit. I haven't heard any drama in a while. I am sure something will come up with the whole gang there. At least this time we have two trailers to stay in. Well, have a great friday.

Updates and Yada Yada....

You may be happy to know that we got our step today!!!! The buckets of dirt are gone, we have a step, Jude's closet has a door, and the fix it guy said he will be coming back to fix the floor, trim, nails, etc... So, I guess the letter was pretty effective, to say the least. But now she is mad at us and not talking to us. It doesn't make sense. Like I continuously say, people don't want you to state the obvious. She knew those things had to be done. She knew we wanted the things done. She knew she had an obligation to fix the stuff. But she didn't want me to say it. I think we were patient for three months.

On another topic, you may have read in Jake's blog that we are looking for new jobs. I will be making some sort of transition probably closer to summer and hopefully Jake will be changing jobs even sooner. I have been seriously been considering a career change. I love the "service" field but I need to make my time away from my kids worth my while. I have been torn for a long time. Jake had mentioned a job where I would be traveling. I have very MIXED feelings about the whole situation but honestly, that is not the job I am going to be doing. I have a couple of other things in mind. I will keep you updated as things come about.

Well, we have Christmas with the Millers coming up this week-end. I am still working on the gifts. I have A LOT of work to do tommorow after work: finish 2 gifts, shop for at least one more gift, wrap ALL gifts I am taking, pack, etc... I had two extra weeks and I am still rushing. I did take my Christmas tree down last night but I am trying to stay in the Christmas spirit. Hopefully it all goes off without a hitch but that is highly unlikely.

Other than those things, life is going well. The kids are great...and getting cuter and smarter each day.

The Landlord

As most of you know, Jake and I rent a house. We kinda got stuck renting when we had to move out of the respite house and didn't end up buying the house we were planning to buy. Long story. Either way, if you go back to some of my original posts I think I talked about all that. Well, we didn't have a lot of time to look for a place to rent. We went and "toured" quite a few houses and weren't really satisfied with any of them. We were at our wits end. Then Jake found this great house in Stow. We went and looked at it and really liked it. The best part was the yard. It is an acre sized yard. You just don't get that is Summit County....we were happy. We wrote a check for the full first months rent and security deposit on the spot. Impulsive. The landlord is this little irish woman. She bought the house about 10 years ag0 and has done a lot of work on it. She was so nice and talkative with us. She had been living with this guy "Norm" since she bought the house. In August Norm, who she refers to as "my other half", moved out and in with another woman. She said she wasn't shocked and a little relieved but she couldn't afford the place herself. So, she decided to rent it out. There is a "mother in law suite" on the back and she lives there. We asked her about the utilities and she said we would be paying for them but said she wasn't sure how it would all work out. She said she was thinking about paying for half the water bill. We asked her about the lawn care and snow removal...she said she was going to look into having it hired out. We took her word for it. She had been doing a bunch of work on the house to get it ready to rent. She was having someone put a new brick sidewalk in the front. She had built a new entry way on the front of the house and it was not finished. We moved in (because we had to be out of our other house) and she said the stuff would be finished ASAP. Well....here we are on January 3rd and the work is not done. It is so frustrating. There isn't even a step to our front door. It is dangerous. We have asked us about it several times and she always has an excuse. Also, she has never given us a break on rent or paid any on the utilities. In fact, she had her daughter living with her for a while and told me she would pay the electric bill but never offered anything when it came time to pay the bill. She started avoiding us after Jake left her a letter on November 1 asking her to finish the repairs. So I wrote her an official letter and gave it to her with this month's rent. Here is the letter...

Dear Dawn,
Jake left you a note with November’s rent check concerning a few maintenance issues. He did say you spoke with him briefly but we have not seen the results.

I am including a list of items that need to be addressed and/or corrected.

· We need a step for the front door. It is dangerous for our family and our houseguests.
· The entry way area needs to be finished.
· The floor by the front closet needs to be finished. There are nails sticking out of the floor.
· We need a storm window for the front screen door.

These are all things you told us would be done before we moved in or soon after. We have been patient for 3 months. We also request you remove the ugly buckets of dirt and rotor tiller from the front yard.

If you can not make the repairs we request to break our lease and you return our security deposit to us. We will give you a 30 day notice before moving. Our other option is to begin legally withholding our rent by placing it in a court approved escrow account, until the repairs are made. This is an option that is completely legal.

I would like to also let you know, as a landlord, you need to give us a 24 hour notice before entering our dwelling. If you are going to come into the apartment you need to let us know in advance. We aren’t trying to be jerks about this, we understand this rental situation is unique but you still need to inform us.

We don’t want to have hard feelings, we just want what was promised to us and we need to assure the safety of our family.

Thank you and Happy New Year.

Sincerely,
Jake & Delilah Miller

While we were in Tennesee, she came in our apartment and left a light on. She has not talked to us but today I saw her for the first time in two months (literally). She was moving 5 gallon buckets of dirt (about 10 of them) from the front yard. I smiled and said Hi. She turned her back to me. Nice. Did she think we were just going to ignore that the work was not done? I know she probably thought I was harsh in the letter but I think it would have been nastier to just call the building inspector. Either way, I think the whole situation stinks. I hate renting and just want to buy a house. If someone wants to give us a house please let me know.

Have a good day.

Back to the Grind...

Yes, it is a National Holiday and I have to work. Akron City Schools decided to have school on a LEGAL holiday. Does that make sense? No. Well, either way I am off to work and grumpy. I haven't had to get up this early for a month now. GRRRRRRR...

Happy Monday.

2006...Already????

Where did 2005 go so quickly? Man, it flew by. It was a busy year. Jake and I only know busy years. We haven't sat down since we met. Well, I think New Year's Day is good for reflection and planning. I do have a few resolutions but nothing out of the ordinary. We want to buy a house...the sooner the better. I want to get rid of more junk. I've been working on that for a while.

Today we are having Christmas with my family, at my sister's house in Lorain. It should be nice. All but one of my gifts were handmade. I think it is going to go over well. I made Indy dress up clothes. She is really into weddings, since she was in one last fall. I made her a bouquet and veil, a sling for her baby dolls, a pink, sparkley dress, a pink poofy skirt and some chunky pink "diamond" bracelets. I think she is going to love it. Hopefully. Jude is getting a guitar from my sister. It is real and kid sized. He is going to love it. He is so into the cowboy thing right now. Last night we went to the Looman's house. Everytime a new person came in he went to get his boots to show them. Isn't that funny? He is so proud. I think the guitar will complete his "Woody" image.

Have a Happy New Year! Remember, there is an old saying that says whatever you do on the first day of the year is what you will be doing for they entire year.....